A true confession

•March 31, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to take your own advice.   Much like everyone else, I need a fellow human to pick me up and dust me off- and kick my butt back into shape.

The truth is, people who have abilities to see beyond the physical are subject to the human experience, just like everyone else.  We make mistakes.  We love people who aren’t good for us.  We do things that aren’t in our best interest for one reason or another.  Being gifted excuses nothing!

This is my confession for today.  That I have been just as wounded as those around me who seek me out for advice.  When I’m ‘connected,’ I am drawing on energy and information from the other side, not this one, which is the only reason I am able to see things, hear things, help people heal.  I’m not a superhero, but I do love to help people. If I were to try to use my own personal energy stores to accomplish this, I’d have been pushing up daisies by now.

That being said, I’ve spent the last 2.5 months getting my physical self adjusted to yet another move!  I’m pretty sure this one has been in the works for a long, long time.  Sometimes it’s our own selves who keeps us away from the things we really want. The only place I’ve ever felt 100% at peaceful has been Cape Cod.  I told myself for years I couldn’t live here.  Why?  Exactly.  I am a human, just like you.

As I pour over some of my writings, I’m inspired by Spirit’s simplicity and purity.   I could not write without the help of Spirit.  It truly is the energy of my angels, guides and guardians that brings through these teachings.  It reminds me how small I am, and also, how important one soul is, no matter how insignificant we may feel.

That’s all for today.  Just some thoughts to ponder.


Time Wounds All Heels…

•December 8, 2013 • Leave a Comment

As time goes by, everything changes. Around this time of year, I find it especially important to ‘check with’ myself.  I constantly observe, take inventory and evaluate where I am on my path. I’ve discovered something that only time passing by can teach us.

I’ve seen memories change form.  I’ve felt my viewpoint of the same issue shift from one end of the spectrum to the other. I’ve learned that actions that once had a very specific meaning, have no meaning at all.  Over time, our wounds become teachers.

In short, sometimes, Love is all about perspetive.  Observe:

What looks like an ordinary thing- such as this bunch of hydrangea that I hung upside down to dry...

What looks like an ordinary thing- such as this bunch of hydrangea that I hung upside down to dry…

Can easily become a sign when the perspective is changed.

Can easily become a sign when the perspective is changed.

Love is a perspective. Especially around the holidays, this is very important to keep at the forefront of your thoughts.  It’s a joyous time of year, but it’s also stressful for a lot of people for varying reasons.  For some, this is the first Christmas without a loved one. Behind what appears to be a smiling face, may be an aching heart.  Be gentle with your words and actions.  If someone lashes out at you, consider they are feeling unloved and in order to conceal this, they act out in a way that takes attention from them and turns it toward you.   When you find this perspective, sit with it, and really let it sink in.  This gives you the incredible opportunity to be a part of someone’s journey to healing their wounds- visible or not.  This is one way that time heals our wounds. 

Try to remember that the way others treat you, or speak to you says much more about them than it does about you.   It may take years before you master this skill, but it is one that will be priceless once you do. 

Peace and Love to all of you, throughout the holiday season. 

The Art of Walking Your Path in Balance

•November 18, 2013 • 1 Comment

Greetings to all of my loyal readers!  Happy Holiday season!  I’m sure you are all in full swing with the changing of the seasons, darkness coming much sooner and those *much* too-early commercials that are decking our halls even before Halloween!

Today I bring you a message of Balance.  Most of the time, when life feels overwhelming, it’s not so much the circumstances beyond our control as it is our sense of balance being disrupted.  It’s easy to be too focused on one thing.  For many of us, it’s the physical.  We obsess over calories, clothing sizes, hairstyles, the perfect little black dress, and so on.  It’s easy for us to become fixated on these things because they are so physical, meaning they are highly visible, and we are capable of making adjustments, indulging our ego-self’s perfectionism.  The main reason we fixate on these things, isn’t their importance. It’s actually the illusion that we have control over them.

True, you can change the color of your hair, eyes, and skin tint at will.  But think about it for a second.  What is it that we are really striving for in the creation of our outside world?  Peace?  Hmm, I think not.  A feeling of peace is often something we feel when we are in an environment that is to our liking, but think about being in that perfect environment right now and let yourself really feel that sensation.  Everything is as it ‘should’ be.  Nothing needs to be adjusted or changed.  Soothing, yes?  Maybe for about 15 minutes.  Then what?  They the mind kicks in, and you begin to think about texting a friend about your newfound serenity.  You wonder if your boss got your last email.  You realize what day it is, and your thoughts turn toward things like your bank balance, when the credit card payments are due and a score of other, seemingly controllable, outside elements of your life.

What happened?  Paradise was shattered so easily in just a short time.  And it had nothing to do with your outside world, and EVERYTHING to do with your inner world.

When I tell my listeners and readers to ‘work on themselves,’ what I am really asking is for everyone to take the time to be still and quiet in their own mind, so they can collect themselves on a spiritual level.  This makes the outside world change- or maybe it just looks a little differently than it did just a few minutes ago, prior to your stillness.

In order to ‘Walk with one foot in each world,’ as my tagline says, you must have a consciousness of both!  You cannot ignore the physical for too long without losing a sense of balance, nor can you drift in the spiritual for any length of time without losing a sense of the physical. In order to be in a state of balance, you must first achieve a sense of your own self.  Are you aware of how your body feels? Are your emotions being suppressed by a false belief that you’re holding?  In order to be a whole Human Being, you must also acknowledge and spend time with the Divinity that dwells within you.  This is also the path to developing psychically.  As you begin to honor both of your selves, your intuition is suddenly more clear.  Your physical self will become more familiar with that physical feeling that comes with receiving your inner guidance. Your guidance will become familiar with that mental resistance that comes with the physical fear of knowingness.  Your sides must become friends with one another in order for both to function properly!

Example?  When I know my guidance is telling me to call someone, my mental consciousness immediately starts listing the reasons I should not.  My stomach suddenly feels as if something is pressing against it.  What does this tell me?   It tells me that I am receiving true guidance.  How do I know?   Through observation.  I’ve meditated until my own name made no sense to me anymore, and all of the physical was called into question.  On the flip side, I’ve ignored my divinity and fell hard down the physical pains of a reality that existed in the absence of any inner world.  Each felt different.  I noted these things.  I wrote about them in a journal.  Then I began to allow both of these sides to be ‘active’ at the same time, and I noted the changes I felt on all levels.  I began to see the physical reactions to my guidance, and when the physical world was overwhelming, suddenly the whispers of my guidance were more clear.  Each held out a hand, and allowed the other to take hold of it.  I now walk in both worlds– and I always have to be mindful whenever one feels a bit heavier than the other. I simply ‘check in’ with myself, and follow my guidance, allowing for all of my feelings to co-exist instead of competing.

How beautiful is it to know that we do not have to be one thing or another, but can be many things, all existing simultaneously, each with full knowledge of the others?  Life becomes more of an experience when all of our selves have a steady voice.

Once I had mastered this art, I was able to have a greater understanding of all things!   Another illustration?  No problem!   I am a Medium and I am a Witch. Neither of these is easily explained, or accepted in most social circles in modern society.  I was very unhappy, feeling that I had to deny these essential parts of myself nearly everywhere I went.  I had to hide myself from the feeling of rejection that was certain to come if I revealed either of these.  I recognized that I was in a state of imbalance, and I started to make my connection between my guidance and my physical selves to find the answer.   It was  explained to me by one of my People, that sometimes we deny ourselves a part of who we are, due to outside circumstances, or the expectations of others who are close to us.  I was shown that it is not necessary for me to deny who I was, only that I should be mindful and respectful of how I express it.  This brought a whole new perspective to my mind that helps me tremendously.  I am never NOT a Witch and I am never NOT a Medium!   It’s just that in some circumstances, I see the value in keeping that fire burning quietly within myself, rather than casting it to the wind, where it can do some damage to myself, my relationships or others. I am not hiding, and I am not denying.  I am always FULLY who I am.   And with that, I felt the balance return, and I felt peace.

So, my dear readers, this is the message for today.  You are always all of your selves, and none of them needs to be sacrificed, or suppressed in order for the others to exist.  They are the instruments in the symphony that is you.


Messages from the Massage Table: ‘Laura’

•September 12, 2013 • Leave a Comment

In the early stages of my psychic side finally being allowed to come out and play, I didn’t trust it.  Big surprise, right?  Some of what transpired during my massage sessions was just as much for my benefit as it was for theirs. I needed to learn to trust what I was getting, and this story is a prime example. I’ll call this next client, ‘Laura.’

It was a fairly quiet night, with a mellowness to it that was unusual for a weekday.  I was booked for a 2-hour session with Laura.  What I first noticed about her was her Cape Cod sweatshirt.  “Hey, did you go to the Cape?” I asked her.  “I live there!” she answered.   She immediately seemed more relaxed and at ease, which is what I strive for when meeting a new client.  In this case, it was that connection to home and that mutual look that says, “what are you doing all the way in Texas?”

She had no specifications for her session, so we decided to focus on relaxation.  As I said, for some people, they are much more comfortable talking to me while they are being worked on than they are falling asleep.  Sometimes I think it’s nervousness, but once they begin talking there is an immediate softening of the muscles, and a sense that they are actually releasing the tension in their bodies by talking about their current issues, so I go with it.  Who am I to tell someone they have to be still and quiet during their session?

Laura talked about a lot of things going on in her life, while I listened, stopping only to let me know if she wanted me to adjust the amount of pressure I was using.  During the first 15 minutes of the session, I began to see two figures beginning to show themselves right beside the opposite end of the table.  I could tell one was a child and one was an adult.  “Uh-oh,” I thought, “not a good time guys!  I’ve only known this lady for 15 minutes!  I can’t scare her away this early in the session!”  They lingered for a few minutes, but faded after I mentally told them I couldn’t speak with them at that moment.

At the 1 hour and 45 minute mark, the conversation shifted, and she suddenly comes out with, “I wish my sister would go see someone like John Edward.”  I asked her why.  She started telling me the story.  “A couple of years ago, my sister was in a car following her husband and her son up over the bridge to New Hampshire.  You know that bridge?”  I told her I did. She continued on, telling me that as they were going over the bridge, the car her sister’s husband and son were in tumbled over and fell down over the side of the bridge.  The husband died and the son had broken every bone in his body, dying shortly after.

At this point, I’m realizing why I had seen the two figures– the adult and child.  This was her sister’s husband and son.  Unfortunately, since she had given me all of this information, I couldn’t give her sister a reading.  I knew too much at that point.  Instead, I referred her to my mentor.

It was at this point that I was learning I could trust what I was seeing and getting.  To see something like that, and then find out it was valid after the fact, proved to me that I was really connecting to the Spirit world.  Once again, the message was, “trust.”

If we do not do what we love…

•August 6, 2013 • Leave a Comment

…We risk doing nothing at all.

This is the quote that graces a little plaque I was inspired to purchase a couple of years ago.  It currently hangs from the mantle, which is also my ancestral altar.  On that same corner of the mantle is a small wind chime, given to me by a friend and a glass Bluebird ornament– bluebird being one of my major symbols.

Sometimes we do things without knowing why.  I call that a whisper from Spirit, others may call it intuition or inspiration. Whatever your name for it, you can be assured that it is quite real. We are all hard-wired to receive messages from ‘Home’ so it should come as no surprise that these whispers come along at just the right time…. which leads me to the topic of today’s post.

A funny thing happened to me on the death anniversary of my Grandmother, July 8th.  If you read this blog regularly, you know she’s one of my major supporters on the Other Side, and she is always very close in Spirit.  It just so happens that although I’m a regular visitor to her resting place, on this day every year I do not visit.   So there I sat on my couch, watching television when I heard my wind chime.  I looked over and saw that my little Bluebird had flipped over- though still attached to the post- and drew my attention to my little sign.  I smiled, and spoke aloud, “Hi Gramma.  I see you found a way to say ‘hi’ today.” :)

The message was loud and clear.  All of those moments when I’d whisper to Spirit, “What am I supposed to do? How am I going to move forward?” had been heard.   This time it was my Grandmother who answered.  This kind of thing happens to me quite often on a subtle level, but there are times when she does something out of the ordinary because she enjoys seeing my reaction.  For me, it’s like receiving an unexpected package or gift on my doorstep.  It truly is a gift, and it always makes me smile.

You may have asked for help, or direction and think you have not received an answer.  Remember this- sometimes we tune ourselves out to the answer we receive because it is not what we wanted to hear.  We expect Spirit to give us some kind of secret backdoor way to get what we want.  This is a very human trait.  What we need to remember is that we see things through a limited, tiny lense, compared to the way Spirit sees them. I’m reminded of a quote from Oprah’s Master Class- “God can dream a bigger dream for us than we can dream for ourselves.”  Be open.  You’re being listened to and you’re getting your answers.  Spirit knows your soul, and will always give you the inspiration needed to fulfill your purpose, even if it’s not what you think it’s supposed to be!

Blessings to all of you, my amazing readers!

The Lesson is Always Love.

•July 30, 2013 • Leave a Comment

Today’s blog is intensely personal, but worth sharing.  When I am struggling with understanding something and I ask for help, I always get my answer.  Sometimes a situation presents itself, not to be solved, but to show us something about ourselves that once we recognize, will shift our entire perception, and our ‘problems’ will suddenly melt away.   You will encounter the same ‘problems’ over and over until you learn the lesson.  Here’s how it was shown to me.

A few years ago, while living in Texas, I was faced with a situation that had me feeling very fearful and unsteady.  My (now ex) husband had permanent physical damage from an accident that left him in constant pain. I can remember going to doctor after doctor with him, trying to understand the nature of the pain, and how to improve it. We tried several chirpractors as well.  Because money was an issue, we were not able to go the alternative route, as insurance would not cover 99% of the treatments or office visits.  He was fighting his own body and miserable. In order to keep his sanity he was working out regularly at the gym, pushing himself as far as he could, trying to gain some control over his body.  What happened as a result?  He ended up injuring his knee.  I believe he had a torn ligament.  You can only imagine his frustration when he could no longer work out the way he wanted to, and his cardio routine – running- would have come to a complete hault.  In his eyes, it was yet one more limitation he had to live with.  From my perspective I can tell you, living with someone in pain is difficult in and of itself, but throw in a defeatist attitude and my maximum tolerance was being stretched.

He didn’t express it in words so much as he did in actions, but he was feeling utterly hopeless. Being a fairly verbose individual, I was blind to a lot of the ways he did express himself, but I could tell he was getting more and more depressed based on his habits, which seemed to be more and more unhealthy, and self-punishing over time.  He’d overeat, drink more than usual, and stay awake all night watching movies.  More than once, I’d be sitting in our living room, and he’d come over to me, kneel down and wrap his arms around my waist, his face buried in my chest, and just sit there. My early reactions were of panic. How could this 6’4″ tall, big, strong man who is older than I am, lived all over the country, and lived through a very rough childhood be sitting here, asking me to be his Mommy?  My thoughts raced- ” I can’t do that!  I can’t take on the responsibility of being someone’s caretaker- I can’t even take care of myself!”  I mean, here I was, I had moved 2,000 miles from home and anything I knew, got laid off from my job, working hourly as a massage therapist (and a poorly paid one at that), and was consciously holding onto my seams daily so I wouldn’t fall apart. This is where the lesson comes in.

The problem here wasn’t the actual problem. On the surface it looks as if the circumstances and our inability to overcome them was the core issue. It wasn’t. It was our judgements of the circumstances, and ourselves. We weren’t being defeated by life. We were being defeated by our programming.

As human beings, it is natural for each of us to look to one another for acceptance, reassurance, and love. I can see now, that I judged him as being weak, and I judged myself as being even more weak and helpless on top of that.  I see now that as I held him in a loose embrace, giving him an awkward pat on his back, I was not giving him what he needed.  Because I was judging him as being needy, and unable to handle himself, I was reinforcing his own fears. At the same time, I was judging and denying my nurturing, loving side (that I now like to call ‘Mommy’) as somehow giving in to a weakness.   Let me make this clear.  There is nothing wrong with needing love, and there is nothing wrong with giving love.  I was making judgements based on what both of our actions meant, completely blinded by the obvious.  I did not see the strength it took for him to show me that he was human and vulnerable. I did not appreciate the wall being let down. I did not understand that what I considered to be MY greatest weakness- my soft heart and sensitivity- were to be my greatest strength in this moment. I had judged him, and myself, and as a result both of us were sitting on the very resources we needed to get through the storm, but unwilling to see them as such.

A reassuring, strong embrace.  A gentle stroke of the hair.  The simple phrase, “it’s okay,” when someone is sure it is absolutely not okay.  These things can move mountains on an emotional level.  Every human being fears rejection of who they truly are. Every person out there knows what it’s like to feel they need to hide their emotions from the world.  Even if this is essential to our survival at times, behind closed doors with the ones we love, those walls need to come down!  Everyone deserves at least one person in life that sees past what others consider to be flaws, and accepts him or her in their entirety.  This is what is called unconditional love.  It’s not, “I will love and treat you well as long as you live up to my expectations.”  That’s the complete opposite of love.  Love isn’t logical.  Love doesn’t keep score.  Love isn’t selective about which of our qualities it will accept and which it will ignore or reject.  Love always says, ‘yes.’  Love isn’t a judgement.  Love isn’t disposable.  Love should not be confined by our convenient little definitions. Without it, we would survive, but we would not live.

In all of our pain and rejection, there are lessons to be learned, if we can quiet our minds, allow our emotions to flow and connect to our inner selves.  That is where our truth lives.  To continually deny this to our selves is to live a life of misery, and it is not necessary!

I see now that although I judged my situation then, and even my divorce as defeat, they were great teachers.  I cannot regret my journey.  I do not wish to go back.   Neither of those things make a difference in whether or not I learned something valuable.  We are constantly learning.  We only need to be aware of it.

Let go of your want to be in control and you will let go of your judgement.  Let go of your judgement and you will see things in a new light.  When you see things in a new light, new solutions will come to the surface and things will begin to make sense in a way you could not see before.

Namaste, and thank you for reading.

Messages from the Massage Table- “Red”

•June 25, 2013 • Leave a Comment

As many of you know, I experienced my official spiritual awakening while living in Texas. I was working as a full time Massage Therapist in cozy, dimly lit rooms with soft music, which is highly conducive to connecting with the spirit world.  During this time, Spirit was trying very hard to show me I could trust what I was getting, and it was in this setting that some of my most memorable readings occurred. I’ve decided to dedicate the next few posts to these instances, as people seem to really enjoy hearing these stories as much as I enjoy telling them!  You may want to check out this previous post: Messages and Massages.  It was my first ‘sign’ that something was afoot! 

Having said that, after a lifetime of thinking I was imagining everything, I was about to find out that truth was definitely stranger- and more exciting- than fiction.  Let’s see how that unfolded, shall we?

I’ll call this client, “Red.”  Red was from the east coast originally, so we got along well straight out of the gate. It was only her second session when I noticed what I have come to know as a spirit who wants to communicate. I had been diligent with my meditations, and with the help of my mentor, felt a bit more confident that what I was receiving was genuine, so I decided to interact with this energy. It was a young guy, wearing a sports jersey, who wanted Red to know he was there. In my thoughts, I told him that I had only seen her twice and did not want to scare her off with this! After all, people weren’t paying me for readings, they were coming in for massage therapy. He was reluctant to leave, so I made a deal with him. I told him if he could find a way to let me know that she wanted to hear from him, that I would pass along the message.  I honestly thought it would never happen, but as I had seen time and time again, something always happens.

Red and I somehow got on the topic of our parents. We talked about how interesting it is to be in the minority, as both of our sets of parents are still married. Then she suddenly said, “but things haven’t been the same since my brother died.”  I’m sure if she could see my face she would have thought I’d just seen a ghost, and, well, I kinda did!  I looked back to the corner where the young guy was standing, and heard, “Well? Now are you going to tell her I’m here?”  I was so taken aback, that I shook my head and said, “no!”  I just couldn’t do it.  It wasn’t for lack of belief, though. It was more my feeling that it was inappropriate. I mean, at the time, I was working for a major massage chain. Can you imagine the look on my manager’s face when my clients emerge from their massage with tales from the dead? I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be one of wonder and amazement!  I told him I would let her know once I knew her just a little better….and that time did arrive a few weeks later. 

It was just after Thanksgiving. Red and I were a bit more acquainted with one another.  Every month she greeted me with a warm smile and I happily spent an hour working the kinks out of her neck and shoulders. We’d covered a number of subjects during our conversations, from where to find a good farmer’s market in the area to her best friend’s upcoming wedding. There was a point in our conversation that was perfect to ask that pressing question. “Do you believe in mediumship?”  Surprisingly, more often than not, the answer is ‘yes,’ as was the case with Red. I explained to her that during a previous session that the spirit of a young guy had made himself known, and that I believed it to be her brother. She was excited, so I proceeded. I gave her the information he was conveying to me, and she confirmed all of it. In every reading there is one moment that really nails it for people. In this one, it was an image her brother gave me of a perfectly set Thanksgiving table, complete with turkey and candles lit, but with no one sitting around it. So I asked her, “Did you cook and set your Thanksgiving table even though you spent that day alone?” She laughed and said, “Yes, I did.”  So I continued, “Because he’s showing me the table, all done up, and did you actually light candles and everything?”  She laughed harder, confirming once again, that she had done just that! Red may have thought she spent the holiday alone, but her brother made it clear that he was with her that Thanksgiving. 



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