Confessions of a Spirit Messenger

Dedicated to all of you who struggle between your bridges and boundaries.

May Love find its way above, below, around or even better,

break through your walls.~

Recently I had one of those ‘getting a message’ moments. It was about a month and a half ago while I was sitting on the couch, watching a movie. The movie was Super 8, and without getting into the details of the plot, I’ll tell you the most pertinent part of this moment had to do with the lead character, Joe, who in one particular scene is speaking about his recently deceased mother.  The line speaks for itself, and I can tell you that in that split second when my mind was processing what he was expressing, it hit me like a ton of bricks because it is something I know well:

“She used to look at me… this way, like really look…

and I just knew I was there… that I existed.”

I know this feeling. I know other people know it too. It is so powerful when someone really sees You- through all of your weakness, flaws, mistakes, imperfections, and truly sees You. I began thinking of some of the amazing people who have gifted me with those precious few moments of being ‘seen.’ Then I remembered the times when I have given that same gift to others. Being able to connect to another human being on a deep, intimate level is a basic need for all of us.  In those moments I found absolute freedom.

But Spirit wasn’t finished with the message just yet.

This past week,  every morning I woke up with the same song in my head-   “Walls,” by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.  It was featured in the movie, “She’s the One,” back in 1995, starring Ed Burns, Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Aniston.

“All around your island there’s a barricade

that keeps out the danger but holds in the pain.”

There is nothing more beautiful than a naked soul, standing before you.  And for me, there is nothing more painful than a wall, especially when it goes up right in front before me, without warning.  As a sensitive person, I feel more than other people feel, and it’s not something that can be explained. Being empathic and able to ‘see’ people, is even more difficult because it magnifies things.

I’ve struggled with balancing my boundaries and bridges my entire life. The only way I’ve been able to keep that balance is this:

I don’t have walls. I have windows.

I’ll let you see inside. I’ll even let you knock. In the act of ‘seeing’ you, I see me. It’s an exchange, and in that exchange, I let you ‘see’ me too. I’ve tried building my own Wall, but I found it  isolated and hurt me more than it protected me. I will say this-  it’s not easy having a nature and abilities such as mine.   There is a large part of me who needs someone who can ‘see’ me back for more than that brief moment. But maybe, having that desire is motivation that keeps me open and ready to help others who need to be ‘seen.’

For those of you struggling with your past hurts, I urge you to work on healing them rather than preserving them behind your walls. You have no idea who or what might be standing right in front of you that could be the very thing you need to feel safe and happy.

“Even walls fall down.”

Take a few minutes to check out this video from Amanda Palmer of the Dresden Dolls. I had the honor of watching her work as the 8-foot bride when I worked in Harvard Square, and I saw firsthand the power of ‘being seen.’

~ by healingstarspirit on March 3, 2013.

Posted in Soul Lessons, Spiritual Concepts & Teachings
Tags: bridges and boundaries, guidance from Spirit, letting love inside, protecting yourself with walls, Walls