Battle of the Selves: Ego vs Soul- Mind vs Body

•July 13, 2017 • Leave a Comment

Just because we are aware of, and can identify different aspects of ourselves does not mean they are separate pieces that live a life of their own.  Everything is connected, and we can see differences in our aspects but that doesn’t make them different ‘selves,’ exactly.

For example, take a large quartz crystal and hold it in your hand.  You may notice different inclusions.  Just because one of them may be a black spec, doesn’t mean that the entire crystal is a dark spec!  It’s a part of it, and it isn’t separate! On the same token, a drop of ocean water, is NOT the entire ocean.

The mind isn’t separate from the body, but the body isn’t the mind and the mind isn’t the body.  It’s like saying Montana is the United States and vice versa.  The important thing is the expansion of our awareness to all of the aspects of ourselves without DIVIDING OURSELVES.

Emotions aren’t separate, inconvenient parts of ourselves.  They affect the Mind and the Body because they are part of them both.  Ego self is the human identity.  So my Ego is Nicole, but my entire Being is not just this one aspect.  Nor is my Soul separate from my body.  It animates my body and my body is a manifestation of the energy that is my Soul.

When we have a broken heart, it affects us physically, emotionally, mentally, and on a soul level.  No trauma or joy affects only one part of ourselves.  This is why it’s paramount to pay attention to each part of ourselves and look for the communication that goes largely unnoticed regarding the state of our entire Being.  Physical pain is never just about an isolated mechanical issue with the body any more than a tragic loss is only about our emotions.

When your body speaks, listen, and find the connections to the other aspects of yourself.  When your mind speaks, listen, and do the same.  Emotions are the bridge, so they are most important of all communication that you can receive from your Self.  Spirit is also a part of each of these aspects, and can never really be separated.

In all things, there is an opposing view, but never is there a division other than your own perception.  For example, I am as grateful to have no one I’m obligated to at the moment as I am lonely to have no one that I’m obligated to at the moment.  It’s all about how you look at things.  All of it affects all of me, and as a human I have the privilege to see and be aware of the different aspects of myself.  But never am I alone, separated, or divided within myself.  I am always whole, and no matter how long it takes, I will eventually see all of the pieces and then, like all Souls, I will return Home.

The Hidden Path

•June 29, 2017 • 1 Comment

It’s a funny thing when someone finds out I have ‘gifts.’ There are a lot of assumptions made about me, such as, I must ‘know’ things about them, or I’m somehow working with an unfair advantage in life. Once again, returning to my roots with this blog- it’s all about the ‘confession,’ right? So here it is.

We’re all born with natural strengths and weaknesses. I can’t explain why I am able to intuit things better than someone else is able to excel at playing basketball. When you have something that you naturally do well, it’s because you are meant to use it to your advantage. It wouldn’t serve anyone for an incredible athlete to spend his or her days as a tax attorney, would it? So why would it be any different with this ability? I have always been able to sense the unseen, and for a long time I denied it and forced myself to do things that made me miserable. Who did that serve? Was it better for me to sit at a desk, and collect a check rather than use my gift? The reasons why are always the same for all of us. We do it because we don’t want to be seen as ‘strange’ or because our families have certain expectations, or because we are scared that we can’t make our dreams our day job.

From the Gaia Oracle deck by Toni Carmine Salerno

At some point I had to come to the realization that my not using my gifts was the equivalent of a violin-player who represses their creativity in favor of being an accountant. It’s time that we, as a society, started to put some value on things that we currently don’t seem to give a flying shit about. The guitarist on the street corner who is really incredible at his craft is seen as less valuable to society than a medical doctor, for example. We’ve seen this sort of thing over and over in cheesy movies about the end of the world and who to send to the ‘new’ planet to start a fresh, new civilization. It’s time to stop letting others assign you a value, and to, instead, shine, sparkle and explode like the amazing talent you are.

Having said that, there are major challenges in living a life that is intertwined with the Divine. Your entire scope of reality is through a filter most people can’t fathom. There are struggles such as ‘how do I charge to heal someone when this is a gift? I mean, Jesus didn’t charge, did he?’ You may also notice the number of people in the ‘spiritual’ arts that are overweight, have health issues, or are always financially strapped. Truly spiritual people have a hard time living in this reality, which is why these issues are common with us. The inner knowing is so much more real than the physical world. The tendency is to split. We say, ‘this is my ego/physical world and over here is my spiritual/diving purpose world.’ In a reality where the truth is that we really are all connected and so is everything that is around us, this is just fucking absurd. Our capacity for understanding the truth is not great as humans, and it creates a need to compartmentalize things- both for our own management of the outer world and for the comfort of those around us who will not understand otherwise.

Hear me on this one- Your body isn’t your enemy or your vehicle.
Your Soul is bigger than your body.

Spiritual wisdom without the practical application of it is literally useless. We fight our intuition with our logic, for example, because we believe it to be more real, or perhaps dare I say, ‘smarter.’ Your decisions are yours to make, either way, but I’m here to break the bubble of those of you who think it’s all about one or the other. Being human is a divine experience because everything that is alive originates with the Source of everything and IS Divine. You may assign a value to a blade of grass versus a human being, but neither is greater or less than the other, because both are Spirit made Matter. Reason through it as you like, but the core of it is unchanging. Life is all about perspective, and if you need to check with someone else to prove you are right about something, you’re using your only your head. The deeper wisdom that never leaves you is always there, waiting to be accessed, because it’s always connected. The best advice you can ever get is to use all of what you have to move toward what you desire to become. If ‘God’ doesn’t make mistakes, then nothing you do is essentially wrong, unless you judge it as such. There is no outside force called the Devil. Energy has the ability to become anything. Some of it becomes what we call ‘evil,’ but at the core, it’s still energy. It’s still Source.
Matter isn’t separate from Spirit. Spirit isn’t separate from Matter. Embrace both, and you will know an entirely new life. If the Universe sought to give you the gift of song, then sing, and as you do, know that energy is dancing through you as your song, and you are releasing your energy back to the Universe to become something else. If you are gifted in Science, then create, and know that as you are creating, the energy that you put into your research is being released back to the Universe and has the potential to become the foundation for another’s creation. Everything becomes something else, because everything is energy, and energy does not die.

This is the Hiddent Path. Walk in the LIght of Spirit with One Foot in each World.

 

My Philosophy for 2017

•February 8, 2017 • Leave a Comment

Nearly all of the posts here are straight from Spirit, direct experiences I’ve had with Spirit or stories that I share because they inspire others. Today’s post comes from the VERY human part of me, that- just like you- trying to figure out my life, day by day, while listening to Spirit’s voice in the midst of the chaos around me. It is also meant to inspire others, but from a more grounded, earthly perspective, so please take it from where it’s coming from. The purpose of this blog has always been to share what it’s like to live from an intuitive viewpoint.  This is another installment in that spirit.


It’s 2017, and I’m nearing the 42 year mark of my life. In that time, I’ve been taught many things that haven’t been true, and definitely have not served me. I’ve learned that my soul has the heart of a child, and that is something that can invite in hurt because it seeks to help, shelter and comfort the hearts of others. I’ve learned that this is my makeup at the molecular level and it cannot be changed. My will has tried to steer it in many other directions, and each time, the compass still points to my true North, my true calling, my true soul’s purpose. If we are all here for a reason, then this is mine.

I’ve learned that hiding and being meek begets nothing useful. In spite of what some of you in my day to day life may think, I keep a lot to myself. I’m not perfect, and I make mistakes, but there’s a difference between calling someone out because they are being dishonest versus making someone feel bad because you don’t like their choices. This is the beginning of what I call the ‘no bullshit,’ phase of my life. Much like Judge Judy, I have a sixth sense for false statements, and I’m done accepting bullshit. If it smells like bullshit, and looks like bullshit.. it’s probably bullshit, right? I call it like I see it, and that means I may be seen as this awfully dirty-sounding word people use- ‘confrontational.’ Am I confrontational? Hell yes, I am! If something is wrong, I deal with it. I am NOT, however, antagonistic. Let’s not confuse the two. I like to solve problems, not cause them. I adore clarity, and knowing where I stand. In return, you will absolutely know where you stand.

I continue to honor and listen to the voice of my soul. At times it’s been my only friend. It’s never abandoned me, and when the world around me is swirling like a blender, I trust it. It’s never lead me astray.

So many of us have lived our lives for others. We behave how others think we should because it makes THEM feel more comfortable. This is true for most people who are sensitive, and/or empaths. It’s our nature to want to make others happy, and we truly don’t see our own needs going by the wayside. Our focus is on service to others, and this is something that many people don’t understand. They think there is an ulterior motive or agenda of some kind. While I cannot speak for all people, I think I can speak for the empaths out there who have been seen as much less than they are because of the lack of authenticity in ‘other’ people. When you hurt, we hurt. That’s what being an empath is all about. Being selfish, or creating stories just to get what we want, is appalling to us. It’s not in our makeup to do such things. Unfortunately, others do this, and it makes it very hard to be seen as real and authentic in our absolute need to care for others. I’m sorry for this, but it’s not going to change who I am, and I will continue to be the force I was created to be in this world, and I will continue to serve others. Others matter, and I know I matter too, which is why I also keep a modest set of boundaries to protect my very soft heart.

So, to sum up my philosophy:

– When I see bullshit, I call bullshit
– I care deeply for others and will continue to do so- but not at my own peril
– When I feel in my Spirit that it’s time to leave a place, I leave
– If I’m drawn to someone, I go with that, no matter what the cultural standard or social structure. Spirit cares not for such petty things when it comes to getting you a message.
– I will continue to give love, without expecting it to be returned in the way and from the ones I give it to, but knowing that in the end, it serves me to be able to do so because it fulfills my purpose.

Thanks for reading, and I hope I’ve inspired you to let your light shine! Do not let the lack of light shining from others cause you to dim yours! Shine even brighter and show them it’s not so scary.

MUCH LOVE!

We are here to love and support one another

Creation from Pain: Being Wholly Human

•January 10, 2017 • Leave a Comment

A lot of people see absolutely no reason for pain.  It hurts, and it’s uncomfortable.  What could be positive about that?  Seeing a loved one pass on, the ending of a marriage, or the loss of a friendship all conjure feelings on the ‘negative’ spectrum of emotion, and it would seem some of us carry those feelings with us throughout our lives. No one likes to feel shitty!  I get that!  But there’s more….

Nothing is created without something first being destroyed, and we are creators. 

Think of the pain of birthing a child into the world, or the way a seed must crack and be utterly destroyed for a plant to sprout from it.  In our pain lies hidden treasure if we allow ourselves to move through it.  


-From the Gaia Oracle Deck

Think of a song that touches your soul.  9 times out of 10, it’s a song that pulls on the strings of sadness rather than joy.  Why?  Why is it that pain seems to stay with us and happiness feels fleeting?  It’s not hard, actually.

We allow ourselves to feel happiness, and let it flow through us, but feelings like grief, loss, and pain stay with us because we refuse to give them the freedom to flow.  

There is freedom in tears.  There is so much relief when you give into pain and experience it as a sensation and not as something you are in complete resistance to.  All of our feelings are beautiful and human.  They are not rewards or punishments.  They are natural and they all must be allowed to flow in order for us to be wholly human. 

When your heart feels an ache, don’t fight it.  Welcome it.  Emotions become trapped in the body and eventually become physical pains and ailments.  Honor your journey here by not holding on to anything.  All is in process, constantly flowing and in motion.  In the words of Robert Frost, “Nothing gold can stay.”  

Letting the pain flow through you releases it, and opens you up to the language of the Universe.  See the hidden gift in what you may now see as an inconvenience, uncomfortable situation, or useless torture.  It holds a truth that is waiting for you to see it. 

Adventures in Spiritual Dating: Can you hear me now?

•January 8, 2017 • Leave a Comment

This one speaks directly to others who are spiritually-connected and living an intuitive life.

The absolute biggest issue I’ve encountered in any sort of dating is that of a lack of connection.  When a person, such as myself, has a strong connection to Spirit, everything else pales in comparison.  The intensity of the closeness I experience with loved ones in Spirit, animals, Angels, etc, can be compared to what I imagine it feels like in the womb.  Looking into the eyes of another person, versus looking into the eyes of a puppy, for example, is something the average person can understand when it comes to this comparison.  There is no hidden agenda, or manipulation.  It is the purest form of connection and it just feels like absolute communion, a joining of spirits.

Being empathic means that I often connect to someone and experience their current state and vibration, which generally acts as a shield to who they are on a deeper level.  It’s confusing because my intellect wants to chime in and do some logical interpretation of what’s being said,  but my intuitive mind is so open it’s difficult to do more than live in the moment.  In truth, I operate by living in the moment, staying present, and that often means that I don’t give much thought to ‘what’s next’ or ‘why certain things are discussed and others are not.’  I’m simply ‘being,’ and flowing with what is happening.  Unless I’m paired with someone who is also present in the moment, without an agenda or having his head be in another place, you can imagine the feeling of disconnect that I experience.

Feelings of being isolated are quite common among spiritually-connected people.  When you have had the experience of being so close to something, it becomes evident that in human form, we simply can’t touch the soul of someone who hasn’t reached that point of being spiritually-aware or connected.  It’s like trying to stack two different sized Legos and always having those notches that don’t meet up stick out in that annoying way.

This will be my last in the ‘Adventures in Spiritual Dating’ series.  I continue to reach out to those I am drawn to, and explore what adventures lie ahead.  A word of sage wisdom– Once in my life I had a very special connection with a boyfriend who could literally read my thoughts, and I his.  It’s never happened since, and that was about 20 years ago.  I was so young, I had no idea how special and rare that connection was, and I’ve never been able to fully break it.  We remain friends to this day.  So– cherish those around you who do not need words to be understood and who can communicate with a touch and a look in their eyes.  They are your vibrational match, and hard to find. Being on the same wavelength is far more difficult when you’re operating from the space of being spiritually aware.

 

 

 

Adventures in Spiritual Dating- The excitment and terrifying feeling of being seen.

•January 2, 2017 • Leave a Comment

 

It’s easy to stir up passion and exciting to explore chemistry.  Those are the two main reasons so many of us are out there dating people we know could not fit into our every day lives and realities.  Especially as an empath, it’s quite addictive to constantly feel those brand new combinations that happen when we allow our energy fields to mingle with another’s.  It’s chemistry on steroids for sensitive people.  Two energy fields, coming together can yield very interesting experiences, and ultimately we are experiencing ourselves in other people.  Some may bring out your shadow side, and you may find yourself immersed in feelings that are in complete resistance to him or her.  Other times, there’s what I call a ‘wounded healer,’ connection where the other person’s emotional pain is like a tonic that you can’t stop drinking, in the hopes you will take it all into yourself and remove the person’s pain.  In the end, we find that we cannot heal our own wounds.

Then there are the moments when we are caught off-guard and our vulnerability shows, plain as day, almost without our permission.  We reveal ourselves.  This is the most frightening for some of us, and for others, that raw feeling is so familiar we practically live there.  Letting ourselves be seen becomes the thing we avoid, even though it is the very thing that would bring us closer to another human being, and to touch souls, which is what we are all craving to do.

In order to experience that closeness we all want and deserve, we have to peel back the layers, and uncover ourselves.

I’ve found myself pulling back and hiding myself without a conscious thought as to why.  I’ve put on weight over the last few months, very rapidly.  There have been far too many moments of being comfortably numbed by the effects of alcohol. I’ve been so lost in a passionate moment and suddenly found myself tensing up, when it felt as if I may surrender to the moment and lose control of my heart.  Keeping myself guarded had become a way of life, and it is a difficult habit to give up, especially when it’s on an unconscious level.  At the end of the day, I’ve found myself feeling hollow without understanding that I wasn’t respecting my soul’s voice when it was asking me to let myself jump, and fall without fear.  My survival mechanisms were in full throttle.

Why do we spend so much time, puffing out our bellies and showing people how strong and mighty we are, when all we want is to find someone who makes us feel safe enough to fall apart in their arms?

We think we want unconditional love,  but what we are really searching for is unconditional acceptance.  Being vulnerable in the presence of another soul is the most powerful connection we can experience as humans.  It breaks down all barriers and allows for the closeness we seek to experience in our souls. And yet, it’s the very thing we do this dance, hoping to avoid.

Eventually, the energy it takes to keep our guard up is exhausted, and we reveal our humanness.  I openly admit, that in a partner, this is what I’m hoping to see.  I want to breath in that energy of emotional and spiritual nakedness and let it wash over me, so I can respond with the same.  We are both human and divine.  Our strength lies within our vulnerability, which is what reveals our souls.  Holding ourselves back punishes everyone, including ourselves, and robs us of the experience of oneness in human form.

 

Adventures in Spiritual Dating- First Dates

•December 13, 2016 • Leave a Comment

When I meet someone, the first impressions I receive often come from my intuitive senses before my intellect kicks in.  It’s always been the first thing that I notice when meeting new people.  I feel them.  Dating is no exception.  And yes, I will pick up on things like, ‘this guy thinks he’s a big deal,’ or ‘he’s uncomfortable in his own skin.’   I have a pretty good bullshit detector, but at the same time, I want to see the good in someone so it’s not always easy.

Within minutes, I feel a shift in the vibration and I very naturally match the vibration of the person I’m with.  I maintain a slight openness from an empathic standpoint, because, for me, this is one of the ways I experience a person.  I’ll find my mind gravitate toward specific thought patterns or topics of conversation without effort, and almost always receive a look or a comment like, ‘it’s funny you should mention that.’

Recently, I went on a date to a Sports Bar, and during the conversation, I suddenly saw a dog in my mind’s eye.  Even with the television sets, and the noise of other patrons, it was there.  I suddenly interrupted and asked, “do you have a dog?”  He said, “Yes, how did you know that?”  His expression was pretty suspicious.  I sort of casually mentioned that I’m intuitive and that I thought I had mentioned that in my profile.  He didn’t really seem to believe me, but he asked me if i knew what breed.  I could see that it was back and tan, like a rottweiler, so I asked about the color first and he said, ‘Yes.’  As he searched his phone for a photo.  I guessed at the breed, and even though it wasn’t a rottie, he had all the markings, including the giant bear-like paws.   Now, you may know that I never ‘work’ when I’m having a drink, and this is no exception.  Once the waitress brought over my drink, my ‘closed for business’ sign metaphorically went up and I stopped picking up information.

When I’m asked about myself, it’s relatively difficult to give a straight answer to certain questions, because I don’t really think in a linear way about myself.  I will say things like, “I like to help people,” or “I like to spend time in nature,” and for most of my spiritual friends, this is acceptable.  More intellectual minds tend to be meticulous, and detail-oriented, so many times I tend to feel like I’m being dissected, and this makes me want to stop sharing.  If I try to play the same game, it makes me even more agitated.  At this point, I know if there is a connection that is on a deeper level.  First dates are like job interviews.  If I can’t get to a certain level of comfort, I know it’s going to be an uphill battle and I let the ship go down, as it will.

I relate to other people based on sharing, and finding common ground, not putting puzzle pieces together.  I want to hear your stories, and how you felt the first time you rode a bicycle.  I want you to understand the look in my eyes when I talk about a pet that I love and express how much I miss her.    I don’t want a carbon copy of myself- so don’t mistake what I’m saying there.  I want someone who can relate to how I experience the world, even if he doesn’t quite experience it the same way.

Is there a man out there who wants to truly know ‘me’ as a whole person, without pulling me apart, analyzing, comparing and evaluating me on some kind of a scale?

 
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