Extrasensory Abilities- How does it feel?

To be on your own, with no direction home, like a rolling stone? I’ll tell ya, it’s not the glitz and glamour people imagine it to be!

I pride myself on being honest, so here we go!

Early in my mystical journey, I felt so alone. It was clear that the other kids didn’t know what I was talking about and I sounded strange to them. In an effort to feel connected, I fought hard to push away my gifts. I wanted so badly to fit in and be with the other kids, and yet by not being myself it wasn’t genuine so it still didn’t work for me. I wanted to be myself AND have friends.

It was a long, hard lesson, and I imagine others who are truly on this kind of journey have found out the same thing I did– that most of my time would be spent alone, or more accurately connecting with other realms. The rest of it would include maybe one good friend or partner, and many social situations that I wanted to run away from, screaming inside while I endured them.

The truth is, if you have to pretend to be someone else to fit in, you don’t fit in. You feel even worse, because you’ve let yourself be fooled into thinking you shouldn’t be yourself. While some adaptations are necessary to belong to a civilized society, it has always been my position that when you go home, you should be able to let your guard down and just be. If you don’t have that, you’ll burn out fast, so personal and intimate relationships cannot be the same kind of shallow connections that we entertain in public arenas, the workplace or PTA meetings.

The other aspect that no one talks about is how it feels to know that everyone around you is essentially lying to you and to themselves. Some of the lies are benign, like saying everything is going great- a lie designed to maintain privacy and avoid being the topic of someone’s side conversation. Others are majorly off, like hiding serious issues that require help, but that people keep to themselves for the sake of doing it all alone out of pride. We get lost in the matrix of thinking we have to maintain these facades. For those of us with ‘second sight,’ it’s an exhausting game and it lowers our frequency. If we do this for too long, we get very disoriented by trying to straddle the line between authenticity and conformity for the sake of being part of society.

If we decide to be ourselves, uncensored, there is another set of unintended consequences. People will say things like, ‘what? do you think you’re better than me?’ in response to something simple like telling someone you don’t drink alcohol when they offer you some. One of the worst pitfalls of all time? Saying something very genuinely, that unknowingly flies in the face of someone’s tightly held, deeply ingrained illusion, so much so, that it causes them enough distress to sever the connection with you entirely.

I’ve had encounters with people in social circles where I notice they avert their gaze immediately, as if they sense I can see into them in a place they don’t want me to see. By the way, I’m not a ‘Psychic Peeping Tom,’ so the only threat is one they perceive through fear. My frequency, without saying a word, and having a blank expression, can cause this without any provocation.

My upbringing had me blaming myself, finding fault with myself and internally criticizing my interactions into the wee hours of the evening. In essence, the experiences were traumatizing, but I couldn’t seem to find any way to feel that sense of harmony in any of them. The only blessing I had was that I was always sent one person who would be my ride or die for periods in my life, and that allowed me to have one place where I could put down that heavy burden of keeping my guard up.

Understanding the Truth, rather than finding a convenient label

The absence of Ego, has also posed a problem. My Soul retains the imprint of Oneness, which means hierarchy makes no sense to me and all are my equals, and they are mine. I had to learn to see the lines in the sand, and find ways to tolerate those who would belittle myself or others out of some kind of ‘status.’ I saw Souls, I didn’t see status. I still don’t. I’ve come to recognize and understand it, but I find it exhausting and unproductive to interact on that level constantly. Competition has always felt repugnant. I didn’t understand sports teams, or even games. I thought they were a waste of time and more enjoyment could be had building things together and being collaborative.

In summation, living a life that is guided by Spirit, or some other force outside of this Earth/Human construct is extremely difficult, and I’ve never understood why others around me who were ‘normal,’ had a modicum of success in society or within a hierarchical structure would want to have this other worldly connection. It took me literal years to realize they saw what I had from THEIR perspective, that is, how it could be used on a 3D playing field, and not for the truth of what it is. In that sense, I only fit in as a parlor trick, novelty friend, or a shoulder to cry on when they were unable to keep their own masks on any longer.

If others see you from their own value system, they will judge your worth and measure you by it. You cannot avoid this. They can’t see you another way unless they expand beyond their tiny bubble. Individuals with expanded awareness and ‘gifts,’ do not fit the typical value system in Earthly societies. We are in this place, but not of it. The only comfort is knowing we came with purpose, and doing our best to serve it. As they say, you can’t speak butterfly language to caterpillar people. That’s not an insult, it’s just not understood.

In whatever your pursuit, please find it in your heart to find ways to be who you are, even for a moment in your day. Do not lose yourself to the artificial ways we group one another. We thrive on connection, not division. It’s wonderful to appreciate the many variations that creation embodies, but they are all fractals of the same light. We all get there on our own terms, but eventually we all come Home to this Light.

~ by healingstarspirit on March 25, 2025.

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