The Great Transition- change is never easy.

This is my coming-out-of-the-closet-as-a-Medium blog.  So, having said that….hi there! 🙂

I have spent many years of my life never quite able to figure myself out.  When we learned about Greek Philosophers in college, I heard a line that from that time on would have much more meaning and explanation as to what I was feeling than any other line I’d ever heard:

“The unexamined life, is not one worth living” ~ Socrates

I had kept journals full of stories, personal feelings, dreams, etc. since I was a young girl.  Even at the age of 12, I found writing to be an amazing outlet.  Unfortunately, I went through a period in my life when I was trying to ‘let go’ of many of the negative experiences I’d gone through, and during that process, all of my notebooks were burned.  It wasn’t to erase the pain I’d written about, or the people who had caused it.  It was a physical representation that I had moved past it.  Looking back now, I realize that what I did- in my own little way- was the equivilant of destroying a history book.  Not only had I let it all go, I no longer had that written record of my experiences.  This is one of my only big regrets.

Like many other young people, college was the first time I’d ever been out of my comfort zone.  New environment, new people and new ways to drive myself insane with trying to figure out what was expected of me.  It was here that I discovered so much about myself, and the main reason I’d been writing for so long.  I truly was of the mindset that examining my experiences through my writings was cathartic, and that alone helped me move forward.  It would be years from that time that I would truly realize that some of what I had been doing as a manner of   therapy would actually shed light on what was to come.

I first heard about ‘automatic writing’ sometime during the summer of 1994.  I had read a book called “We Don’t Die”, which was the biography of George Anderson.  Although I had been aware of mediums before, this was the first time I had really studied it more closely.  More interesting was the way I found the book.  You see, all of my life, I’d had been, what would appear to be, talking to myself in my own mind.  Little did I realize that it wasn’t exactly talking to myself.  I would ask questions, and wait for the answer to be dropped into my own head.  It was sort of the equivilent of a search engine.  I’d put it out there, and see what came back.  Now that’s not to say that I always got exactly what I wanted.  Many times I didn’t, and it frustrated me.  Now, if I were talking to myself, wouldn’t you think the answers would be a bit more self-serving? Uh-hum, yes, exactly.  I’d never thought about it before.  I’d wandered through life with this ability and the ignorance of it at the same time.

That fateful day during the summer of 1994, I went on my lunch break.  I had been working, in the Saltonstall building, right down the street from Mass General Hospital, and a short walk to what people call “downtown Boston.”  I had been feeing a more agitated than usual by my inner self.  There was a sense of frustration and I knew that there was something trying to be communicated to me that  I just wasn’t getting.  An answer that was trying to download, so to speak.  So I marched myself down to the nearest bookstore and asked- “okay, please lead me to the book that I am supposed to read.”  I walked right into the store, and felt an amazing gravitation to a nearby bookshelf.  I had felt this same thing the very last time that I’d been in that store, but I blew it off.  Why?  Because I was a nice Catholic, Italian girl who wouldn’t dream of reading anything off a New Age bookshelf.  I resisted myself this time, and allowed whatever was moving me gently in this direction to take over.  I reached out and put my hand on the shelf and it went right to this book.  I pulled it off the shelf without even thinking– another key that I should have seen earlier on regarding my own will versus something else- and bought it.  Walked back to my workplace and sat outside to begin reading it.  From the time I left my office to the time I got back was all of 15 minutes.  Why?  Because I simply followed this guidance without questioning or arguing with it, as I had sometimes done in the past.  This was the first footstep on the path to discovering that I am a Medium, a messenger of Spirit.  Simply by LISTENING.

Back to what I started saying- automatic writing, is the process of allowing Spirit to use your body as a messenger through writing.  Some call it “inspired writing,” but the name isn’t important.  What IS important, is that from that time on, I began to notice periods of time when my writings seemed a little odd.  On the preachy side, almost, and didn’t sound anything like me.  The language I used was…uncommon for ‘normal’ people all-together.  When it was the most ‘active’ seemed to be just after graduation from college in 1997.  NOTICING this was my first sign of dawn breaking over my marble head (as my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Committo would say).

I’m here to teach you about the simple acts of listening and noticing that will change your life forever.  Because once you do these two things consistently, you will find that you truly are never alone.

There is so much more to my story, and that is the other reason for the blog.  I need an outlet, and Spirit has sent me one.  I kept receiving images of sitting at my computer writing, and after spending months just checking emails, and surfing around, I’m finally listening to Spirit and doing what I should have been doing all along– but that’s free will.  Nobody *has* to do anything.  We can choose to listen or ignore.  I’m glad I chose to listen, and I hope you will be too.

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~ by healingstarspirit on January 13, 2010.

One Response to “The Great Transition- change is never easy.”

  1. What a great start to your blog. I read every word. You are a great writer! Maybe there is a book inside you somewhere? Keep writing! I’m loving it, and update me when you post new stuff. I have been visited by a chickadee many, many times today at my new bird feeder. Even got a couple photos of him! I’ll post them on Facebook!

    Like

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