Where It All Began- Part II
Understandably, my mother had a lot on her mind after my grandmother’s passing. The family was taking care of things and while they were hard at work doing that, me and my brothers spent time with my Dad’s parents. It was either the night of the funeral or a couple of nights after that, when I was at my Nonni’s house spending the night. Both my Nonni and Nonno were very much into plants and gardening. The garden on the side of the house was filled with flowers of every variety, and in the middle of that garden was a statue of the ‘child Jesus’ wearing a crown. He had two fingers extended (which signified his two natures-human and divine).
Nonni's garden
I enjoyed smelling all of the different kinds of flowers and running my hands over them, feeling the textures of the leaves and petals. This one night, my Nonni was outside in the garden, watering the plants. She always told me that it was best to water at night, because if you did it during the daytime, the sun would burn the plants. So I stood in the window, hidden behind the long curtains and watching her walking around with the hose. She went from one side to the other, then to the front of the house to water there, and that’s when I suddenly saw something floating just above the garden. It looked like a white, whispy form waving around in this one particular spot. The first thought in my little 8-year-old mind was, “hmm, maybe I have something in my eye.” So I wiped them with the backs of my hands, to be sure they weren’t any ‘eye yuckies’ in there that I was seeing. It was still there, and it wasn’t just a poof of smoke or a cloud or some kind, because it was moving in a way that kept it’s shape- which I began to realize was the shape of a person. I wasn’t scared, in fact, I became very excited as I knew that I was getting a visit from my grandmother. She hovered there, and held out her hand to the side as if she were trying to tell me something. I was so excited that I left the window and rushed to the phone to call my mother to tell her that Gramma was here and she was okay. To be totally honest, I don’t remember my exact words other than- “I just saw Gramma!” but my mother says I also told her that I didn’t have to be sad anymore. I knew she was still there. I had no doubt in my heart. When I hung up the phone and ran back to the window, she was gone, and I was mad at myself for leaving the window at all. I was so happy to see her, but she was gone again.
My family seemed to have mixed reactions to this, and I remember thinking I shouldn’t have told anyone because I thought they might not believe me. At that time, I had never had any exposure to anything paranormal and other than my Dad’s brilliant decision to let me and my brothers stay up one night to watch “The Shining,” I hadn’t really seen any horror movies either. I don’t know how I knew it was her. I just did. I guess the best way to describe it, is that I was experiencing the feeling I had when she would come in the door, so happy to see me. That particular emotion seemed to envelop me. Later in life, I learned this to be ‘clairsentience,’ or ‘clear feeling – one of the ways in which a medium receives communication from spirits.
The last two weeks of July were always the weeks my family went to Cape Cod, just as as we had every summer- even before I was born. We stayed in the same little cottage every year. It was and will always be a haven for me. It is very rustic. There isn’t even a microwave, and if you want to watch TV, you bring your own with you. I loved this about the cottage the most. It made everything seem so still and quiet. There is free-standing cedar closet at the top of the stairs on the second floor, and I always fought to get one of the two rooms up there because I loved the way it scented the whole upstairs. This was just about my Gramma’s favorite place in the world to be, and it was a little sad that she wasn’t there with us…or so I thought.
Me and Gramma at the beach.
There were pine and oak trees surrounding the cottage, and the largest of them was a very old oak tree whose branches were so tall and long, they actually covered a portion of the roof almost like an umbrella. I snagged the room upstairs with the twin beds. I had to share with my brother, Mark. I put away my things, and placed my picture of Gramma on top of the bureau. This was the ONLY photo of her by herself ever taken because she hated having her picture taken. Then I went about my business. That picture went everywhere with me. It made me feel closer to her and I felt I really needed it with me, especially on the Cape.
One afternoon, I went grocery shopping with my mother. To keep me occupied, I was in charge of the carriage and the calculator. When we got to the register, there was a large basket with those big yellow plastic bats that came with a whiffle ball. My mother got one for each of us. We played outside in the front yard after dinner. Of course, a couple of times a ball would end up stuck in the trees, and Dad would come to the rescue by flinging the bat up at the branches to shake it down. Well, for some reason, mine didn’t ever come down. We couldn’t even see where it went. I felt bad because my mother just got it for me a few hours ago and already I’d lost it. “That’s okay,” she said, “Gramma has it.” I remember looking up into those trees and for a moment, I really believed that those trees were a piece of heaven, and there were spirits that lived in them.
The next day, my Dad set out for the beach with me and my brothers as usual. During the day my mother was out running errands, and my aunts and grandfather (Gramma’s husband) were off and running themselves. When we got home from the beach, I ran upstairs and saw my whiffle ball sitting on top of the bureau. Without thinking, I grabbed it and ran back downstairs, excited because someone had found my ball. I yelled out, “hey, who found my ball?” They were all looking at me funny and asking me what I was talking about. Nobody found your ball, nobody was home all day. So I got this insistent attitude and said, “well, I just went upstairs, and it was on top of my picture of Gramma.” I think my mother’s eyes nearly popped out of her head. “Oh my God, I was only kidding when I said that,” she said. Then my eyes got wide and I ran back upstairs to get the picture. I brought it down and showed her how I found it. Later that night my aunts and grandfather came home and we asked them, “did you find Nicole’s ball?” None of them knew what we were talking about. To this day, I still have not been able to figure out how she did it, but I know my grandmother found a way to make sure I knew she hadn’t left me alone. Once this ‘miracle’ happened, my mother started to realize that other things had been happening that she had blown off. For example, for days I had been hearing someone calling my name. I’d turn around and say, “What?” And my parents would say, “What, what?” I said, “did you just call me?” They said ‘no.’ I shrugged it off and went back to doing what I was doing. It was then that my mother realized my grandmother had been around me for the whole two weeks we were at the cottage. My grandmother hadn’t left me behind, and she wanted to make sure that I was okay.
Since that day there have been many, many other signs of her presence, and just like her, they are bold and hard to ignore. She is and always will be the soul that is closest to my own. We share a connection that is strong enough to stand even death. As I came into my own with my mediumship, I began to realize that I had been receiving her guidance all along but had failed to recognize that it was coming from her until I opened fully to my gifts. Now when I ‘hear’ her, I recognize it immediately. She still has her Boston accent, and she still has that strong personality that helps get things done. I love her with all of my heart and soul, and look forward to the day when I step into the light to find her waiting for me. “Hi Dolly Dimple!” ~ ”Hi Gramma, I missed you so much!”
Confessions of a Spirit Messenger 
this very much hits home with me right now, for obvious reasons. i don’t believe the same things you do (though i don’t NOT believe them, if that makes sense) but i’m glad that you do and that you’ve found comfort in that.
and be sure to tell my grandmas i miss them so much if you talk to them please. 🙂
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