It’s so hard to say Goodbye

As I begin to pack up my things and ready myself to move across country, once again, I am faced with the daunting task of what to take, what to leave and what to give away.

What’s my criteria for making this decision? Is it the value, the age or condition of an item?  Is it the frequency of use or whether or not there is room for it?  That may work for items that I have personally purchased, but truth be told, much of what I have, came to me by way of gifts from others and for me, one of the hardest things to do is to let go of something that was given to me!

Because I am a more ‘feeling’ person, I tend to hold onto things because I somehow feel the love and thoughtfulness behind the gift itself is contained within it.  You can imagine my heels digging in the ground with each item as I struggled to send it off to goodwill or list for sale.

Why is it so hard to give up our things?

I can remember holding onto a pair of designer jeans, for example, long after they even fit me because they were so coveted at the time when I got them that I didn’t want to let go of that feeling of social status or coolness.  I’ve long-held onto tiny figurines for which have no proper display case, but that I continue to hold onto because “I can’t throw this away, so-and-so gave this to me.”

Letting go of material things does not mean

you throw away the person

or the sentiment with which they were given. 

The biggest issue here isn’t really the things themselves, but rather the value, importance and attachment we assign to them. Love isn’t contained in the locket your former boyfriend gave you 10 years ago.  The soul of someone who has passed on is not going to come back to haunt you because you gave away a piece of their old furniture to charity.  As I always do when I have trouble with something, I asked my guides.

They gave me a simple affirmation to say as I am letting go of things that I no longer need but feel attached to.

Here it is:

“I take with me all of the love, and the spirit

with which this item was given to me,

but I now let go of the physical item.”

You will immediately feel a lifting of the sadness you felt at the thought of throwing away someone’s love. If love truly came in a box tied up with a ribbon, there wouldn’t be so many unhappy people, still looking for it in every face they see or storefront they pass by.

I know there are many of you out there who are facing hard times, like losing a home, a job or even a loved one.  Please know that although there is undoubtedly a lot of pain involved with these experiences, you are growing as a result of having them. Loss is a mighty teacher, and one that we would never invite willingly into our lives if given the chance while here in human form. These experiences are here to show you something, so don’t waste them by simply telling yourself that all hurt is evil and useless. Let yourself grieve, certainly.  Never deny yourself that.  But when you find that the tears are coming less frequently, there is a strange and unexpected calm that happens, and it is in that space that you have the power to put it all into perspective– but you can’t just jump to that place immediately.  Give yourself permission to get there and when you feel it’s too hard, sit quietly and pray for a sign. In addition I hope you will please come back to this blog and sift through it for inspiration or experiences I’ve shared that you can relate to, so you don’t feel so all alone.  That is why I write.  That is what this blog is here for.

When a loved one dies, there is a temptation to try to hold onto all the things he or she touched when they were alive.  Even something as simple as a kitchen table or a cookie jar can feel like they are worth their weight in gold.  Know that the person’s spirit and love live on in you, not in their material things.  Sure it’s okay to have one or two things that stick around to remind you of someone’s love.  Just remember that the love that person gave is just as alive in your physical form as the small item you hold in your hands.

Namaste and thank you for reading.


~ by healingstarspirit on August 25, 2011.

One Response to “It’s so hard to say Goodbye”

  1. Very nice and accurate sentiments. I was so frustrated trying to convince my mom that she didn’t need to cling to physical things to remember my dad, but she had a very hard time giving up silly stuff because she was convinced she needed it to “remember”. I’m using that lesson in my life and starting to part with stuff as much as possible. It’s easier if I think of it as letting those things become “someone else’s treasures”.


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