My Soul Lesson for January

•January 16, 2010 • Leave a Comment

 There are times in life when I feel like I’m so close to taking things to the next level, and yet there’s something in my way.  Some kind of block that keeps me from getting there.  And when that happens I can either keep pushing up against that wall, or  enlist the help of my guides and angels.  After some time banging my head against a wall, I chose the latter.  

As soon as I asked my guides why I had these blocks, I began to receive pictures in my mind of old, painful memories.   Being rejected by an old boyfriend, or betrayed by someone who I thought was a good friend, for example.  And I immediately saw the word, ‘forgiveness.’  I knew what I had to do, so I sat down with myself and allowed each memory to replay in my mind.  I felt all of the anger, frustration, shame, and hurt that each situation had caused me.  Then I pictured the person in each situation that caused me the pain and hurt, and said, “I forgive you for…..”   And I let it go.  Personally, I envision placing an energy ball that represents my hurt feelings into the hands of an angel, and watching her fly up into the clouds with it, taking it to ‘God’ or ‘Spirit.’   Immediately upon doing this exercise, I felt myself instinctively taking a deep breath, and once I let that breath out I felt …..lighter.  It was as if I’d taken a weight off my shoulders.  My test is to allow myself to think of the person again to see if I feel the same.  I didn’t!  The negative emotions attached to that particular person did not come back up again.  They were gone.   Each day since then, one or two painful memories randomly comes up in my head, and when that happens, I use this exercise.  It’s come to be a theme for me, at least for this month, as I know things change rapidly with my guidance when I follow it without question. 

One of the most painful experiences involved a girl I knew in high school.  Yes, high school!  I graduated in 1993 and here it is 2010 and seeing a photo of this girl still elicited an angry response because of what she had done to me.   Without going into too much detail about the situation, this girl had pretended to be my friend.   I opened up to her, telling her things you tell a trusted friend- very personal feelings- only to find that she not only had been laughing at me behind my back, but she had actually put me on the speakerphone at her house while some of her other friends were there, on mute, laughing at me too.  This seems a pretty cruel act to me, since the only thing I can see being accomplished by doing something like that is hurting someone’s feelings.  Maybe she had her own insecurities and needed to deflect before anyone saw them.  I don’t know.  I only know that at that time I was so hurt and it caused me to feel terribly self-conscious and unworthy of friendship.  Do you know that I had to go through this little exercise 2 times before I could breathe that sigh of relief?  Why?  Because there were many incidents when she caused me grief, and I had to forgive all of them, be it one by one or in one long, session.  So the second time, I went through all of the ones I could remember and held those images as I worked with this exercise.  And so it began –  “(Name), I forgive you for making me feel as though I was someone to be laughed at, and not worthy of friendship.”  SIGH.  “(Name)I forgive you for keeping me in a place  where I felt inferior.”  And so on. Each feeling had to be included, or it would come back up again. 

It is important to note that forgiveness does not mean condoning.  You’re not admitting defeat.  You’re not somehow giving the other person permission to hurt you again, and you’re not saying that what they did was right.   This act of forgiveness is your key to freedom.   It’s your soul’s recognition that what has happened in the past, although it may have been painful, was simply an experience and we no longer need to hold onto the pain or relive it again.  It sounds simple, but it is very, very hard to sit there and see someone doing wrong to you and really forgive them in your heart.  If you say the words and do not mean it, you will not let go of the pain and you will not feel the sensation of lightness.  Everyone that does this process will find it will unravel in its own time, but I promise you it will work for you if you give it a try.  

Forgiveness of the self is of equal, if not more importance.  Looking at yourself in the mirror and telling yourself that you forgive yourself out loud is a very powerful experience.  Some people laugh, some cry, and some just grit their teeth.  I can tell you that for me it’s been extremely emotional.   “I forgive myself for feeling like I’m not good enough.  I forgive myself for not being perfect. ”  These are very powerful and emotionally loaded statements when said with heartfelt sincerity, and I can tell you that they do have an impact on you emotionally and psychologically.  I find that  since I’ve started using this practice I’ve been treating myself and others with much more compassion.  I feel like it has made me a better person.

Posted in Soul Lessons
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Spirit Guides and Connectivity

•January 14, 2010 • Leave a Comment

A Spirit Guide is a special spirit that is assigned to you while you are here on earth to help you with your lessons and your purpose.  Most people have several, and everyone has at least one.  During those times in your life when you were in the right place, at the right time, you were most likely being guided by your Spirit Guide.  They help keep you on track and protect you from harm.  People sometimes refer to that little voice in the back of their head as their conscience, or their intuition.  These are terms that people feel most comfortable with, and if you choose to keep using them to refer to this little voice, then that is what is appropriate for you.  I will be using the term Spirit Guide to describe this form of communication.  And yes, it is communication.

Now, for those of you who find this concept of being guided by unseen forces a little hard to digest, I would suggest a bit of reading that is more on the analytical side of things, as most of you will be more linear thinkers or left-brained people. The book “The Field,” by Lynne McTaggart is an excellent place to begin.  Also the movies “What the Bleep do we know?” and “The Living Matrix” would be helpful.  In a nutshell, science is proving that what we’ve all thought of as religious or mystical experiences to be perfectly natural ones.  How?  Well, we all have heard that we are made of matter, right?  Matter, when inspected on a deeper level begins to translate into molecules, atoms, etc; and eventually we learn that at the most fundamental level of our construction we are all made of energy.  The spaces in between matter- what looks like open space, air, or what have you- are also full of energy.  If this is true, and science has proved it so, then there are connections from you and I to everything else in the web of life.  This is the left-brained version of the ‘we are all connected’ love, and light new age concepts that seemed a bit too airy fairy to swallow.  What McTaggart has done in her book is to take the language of mathematical equations that are used by physicists and translate them into a more friendly, practical language for all of us non-physicists.    Our brains are more like antennas than they are like repositories of information.  We naturally plug into ‘the field’ and are able to retrieve information, much like we do on the internet.  (You’ll have to forgive the computer analogies, but they explain these concepts in a way that is relatable on a large scale. )

Having said that– why WOULDN’T you be able to connect with a spirit, a guide, or even your cousin Ida, who unexpectedly calls within a day of your thinking of her?  Yes, we are all connected, and we need to accept that as a given instead of constantly trying to prove it.  Work with it!  It’s yours for the taking.  Once you accept this, you can interact with life in a whole new way.  Now that’s not to say that you’ll automatically know everyone’s thoughts or you’ll be able to tell the future, but it is a step in the right direction toward our evolution as human beings and as souls on a journey.  The civil rights movment didn’t magically turn everyone all into all-accepting, loving people.  However, it was the first major step toward the goal of loving acceptance of all people, and gave us the momentum to continue working toward the greater goal.  It’s a similar concept.  It has a cumulative effect and it broadens awareness. 

If you know there’s a little voice in the back of your mind, you should know by now that it usually comes out when you seem to need it the most.  If you can’t hear that voice, fear not!   You are still receiving guidance, just in a different way.  That other way is through synchronistic thoughts or events.  You may find a thought coming up in your mind repeatedly for no apparent reason.  Maybe you get a sense of urgency about calling a friend that you’ve not seen in a long time, and when you do, you find out he just had a quadruple bypass surgery.  This happened to me not too long ago.  Another good example would be all of the people who had little things happen that made them late for work on September 11, 2001.  Their work here wasn’t done, and in order to insure they would be able to continue it, forces unseen put things in the way of their being in that situation.  *Note, those that were killed in the September 11th attacks did not die in vain.  There is a purpose in death, as there is in life even if we do not immediately understand it.  More on this at a later time.

Reach out to your guidance and invite it into your life.  You will never be sorry for having done it.  The method is as unique as each individual person.  For some, meditation works marvelously.  They are able to reach a state of relaxation that allows those voices to become magnified.  For others, it may be that “noticing” that I talked about in yesterday’s post.   Become aware of what is going on around you.  In the course of a day or two, are you finding that you have seen or heard something more than twice or three times?  Something that maybe seems oddly out of context or dredges up a memory long-forgotten?  This happens to me so frequently it’s hard for me to count the instances.   The last really compelling one happened over the span of a few days.  I had been asking over and over again (in my mind) about my job situation.  It’s been quite frustrating for me, as it has for many out there.  Well, I got my answer, and it wasn’t what I wanted to hear.  It first began with a word that you don’t hear quite often.   I drove by a store that I drive by all the time on my way to work, but this afternoon the sign seemed to be more vivid.  It just stood out.  The name of the store is Gypsy.  I thought, ‘hmm, that’s kind of interesting.”   When I arrived at work, a co-worker had her daughter sitting in the back room because she didn’t have school that day.  She introduced me to her.  “This is my daughter, Gypsy.”  Um, did I just hear that right?  Oh yeah, I certainly did.  I even saw a container in the refridgerator with her name on it, so I am sure I heard it exactly correctly.   I kind of knew what this word meant to me, personally, as it was kind of a figure of speech that my grandmother used to use a long time ago.  So I called my mother to ask her.  “Hey Ma, remember when Gramma used to use the expression ‘like a gypsy’?”  “Yeah, she used to say that all the time.” she said.  “She would say ‘Look at you, you’re like a gypsy. You never stay in the same place.’ ”  Uh-huh.  Okay, I’ll put that in the ole mind file and see what happens.   I still wasn’t completely satisfied.  Yes, mediums have the same gruelling trouble with accepting messages that everyone else does!   The next day I paid a visit to my chiropractor.  The receptionist is from Massachusetts- just like me- and I love chatting with her because it’s like I’m getting a little piece of home.  She happened to mention that she was going on vacation.  When I asked her where she was going, she looked at me and threw up her hands and said, “you know, we’ve got the RV, so I think I’m gonna just be like a gyspy!”   If I questioned that I was truly getting the message, this sealed the deal.  Okay, okay!  I get it!   I’m not meant to live a stagnant life.  I get bored more easily than I’d like to admit, and I really can’t see myself working for the same company in the same town for 40 years.  And that was my message- straight from my Gramma, who left us to go to the ‘other side’ over 25 years ago, but who still loves and protects me and keeps me out of trouble. 

I can’t stress enough how natural this process really is for all of us.  The most important part of  why I do this work- beside the fact that it is my calling and will not stop even if I protest-  is to help people.   Each time I do this a healing takes place, for my clients, those on the other side, and for me.  Some day this won’t be considered remarkable, but commonplace.  And maybe by that time, the classroom we call Earth will no longer be necessary for our growth.

Posted in Spiritual Concepts & Teachings
Tags: , , , , , ,

The Great Transition- change is never easy.

•January 13, 2010 • 1 Comment

This is my coming-out-of-the-closet-as-a-Medium blog.  So, having said that….hi there! 🙂

I have spent many years of my life never quite able to figure myself out.  When we learned about Greek Philosophers in college, I heard a line that from that time on would have much more meaning and explanation as to what I was feeling than any other line I’d ever heard:

“The unexamined life, is not one worth living” ~ Socrates

I had kept journals full of stories, personal feelings, dreams, etc. since I was a young girl.  Even at the age of 12, I found writing to be an amazing outlet.  Unfortunately, I went through a period in my life when I was trying to ‘let go’ of many of the negative experiences I’d gone through, and during that process, all of my notebooks were burned.  It wasn’t to erase the pain I’d written about, or the people who had caused it.  It was a physical representation that I had moved past it.  Looking back now, I realize that what I did- in my own little way- was the equivilant of destroying a history book.  Not only had I let it all go, I no longer had that written record of my experiences.  This is one of my only big regrets.

Like many other young people, college was the first time I’d ever been out of my comfort zone.  New environment, new people and new ways to drive myself insane with trying to figure out what was expected of me.  It was here that I discovered so much about myself, and the main reason I’d been writing for so long.  I truly was of the mindset that examining my experiences through my writings was cathartic, and that alone helped me move forward.  It would be years from that time that I would truly realize that some of what I had been doing as a manner of   therapy would actually shed light on what was to come.

I first heard about ‘automatic writing’ sometime during the summer of 1994.  I had read a book called “We Don’t Die”, which was the biography of George Anderson.  Although I had been aware of mediums before, this was the first time I had really studied it more closely.  More interesting was the way I found the book.  You see, all of my life, I’d had been, what would appear to be, talking to myself in my own mind.  Little did I realize that it wasn’t exactly talking to myself.  I would ask questions, and wait for the answer to be dropped into my own head.  It was sort of the equivilent of a search engine.  I’d put it out there, and see what came back.  Now that’s not to say that I always got exactly what I wanted.  Many times I didn’t, and it frustrated me.  Now, if I were talking to myself, wouldn’t you think the answers would be a bit more self-serving? Uh-hum, yes, exactly.  I’d never thought about it before.  I’d wandered through life with this ability and the ignorance of it at the same time.

That fateful day during the summer of 1994, I went on my lunch break.  I had been working, in the Saltonstall building, right down the street from Mass General Hospital, and a short walk to what people call “downtown Boston.”  I had been feeing a more agitated than usual by my inner self.  There was a sense of frustration and I knew that there was something trying to be communicated to me that  I just wasn’t getting.  An answer that was trying to download, so to speak.  So I marched myself down to the nearest bookstore and asked- “okay, please lead me to the book that I am supposed to read.”  I walked right into the store, and felt an amazing gravitation to a nearby bookshelf.  I had felt this same thing the very last time that I’d been in that store, but I blew it off.  Why?  Because I was a nice Catholic, Italian girl who wouldn’t dream of reading anything off a New Age bookshelf.  I resisted myself this time, and allowed whatever was moving me gently in this direction to take over.  I reached out and put my hand on the shelf and it went right to this book.  I pulled it off the shelf without even thinking– another key that I should have seen earlier on regarding my own will versus something else- and bought it.  Walked back to my workplace and sat outside to begin reading it.  From the time I left my office to the time I got back was all of 15 minutes.  Why?  Because I simply followed this guidance without questioning or arguing with it, as I had sometimes done in the past.  This was the first footstep on the path to discovering that I am a Medium, a messenger of Spirit.  Simply by LISTENING.

Back to what I started saying- automatic writing, is the process of allowing Spirit to use your body as a messenger through writing.  Some call it “inspired writing,” but the name isn’t important.  What IS important, is that from that time on, I began to notice periods of time when my writings seemed a little odd.  On the preachy side, almost, and didn’t sound anything like me.  The language I used was…uncommon for ‘normal’ people all-together.  When it was the most ‘active’ seemed to be just after graduation from college in 1997.  NOTICING this was my first sign of dawn breaking over my marble head (as my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Committo would say).

I’m here to teach you about the simple acts of listening and noticing that will change your life forever.  Because once you do these two things consistently, you will find that you truly are never alone.

There is so much more to my story, and that is the other reason for the blog.  I need an outlet, and Spirit has sent me one.  I kept receiving images of sitting at my computer writing, and after spending months just checking emails, and surfing around, I’m finally listening to Spirit and doing what I should have been doing all along– but that’s free will.  Nobody *has* to do anything.  We can choose to listen or ignore.  I’m glad I chose to listen, and I hope you will be too.

Posted in My story
Tags: , , , , , ,

Next Entries »