Dear God, please help me!

•January 9, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Wow, this is my first posting for the year of change, 2012, and what am I going to talk about?  You guessed it- the seemingly hellish transition period we’re all going through right now that we fear is never going to come to an end!  So many of the people that come to me for help are out of work, experiencing a loss on a profoundly deep level or are facing the ending of a relationship I have lost count. I’m not immune to this!  Worldwide we are seeing a shift in values as we move into a new cycle as a planet.  This means change- something most of us are not comfortable with going through. Human beings are hard-wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain, so what do we do when all seems to be slipping through our fingertips?

“Dear God, please help me!”  How many times have you uttered this ‘prayer?’   We’ve all done it. As we’re standing in the middle of our own personal chaos, this is the thought running through our minds.

Have you ever heard the saying, “be careful what you wish for- you just might get it?” There is a correlation between the prayer and this saying. When we ask God, Source, the Universe for help, it always comes… but most of the time it doesn’t come in the way we expect or want it to come.

If you hate your job and ask for help, your help may arrive in the form of a lay-off, forcing you into a new line of work or to go back to school for something completely different. If you are in an unhappy marriage and ask for help, you can fool yourself into expecting the marriage will improve.  Or you may check the phone bill one day only to find out your spouse has been seeing someone behind your back, forcing the marriage to an end so you can be free to find the one that is truly your soul mate.

Learning to integrate your spirituality into your physical and material world will help you to keep your perspective balanced. You are always being heard and responded to by the Universe. You are always manifesting. Be responsible with your thoughts and monitor them frequently!

“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” ~ Paul Coelho, from The Alchemist

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End of the year reflections.

•December 13, 2011 • Leave a Comment

This is a special time of year, when we are gathered around our family and friends. It’s also a time of quiet reflection on what we’ve been through, learned and experienced throughout this last year.

If you’re a listener of my BlogTalkRadio show, you may recall as we crossed the threshold into 2011, I asked my guides what this year would bring in the way of lessons.  The answer was, in no particular order, Relationships, Forgiveness, Tolerance and Family.  It’s amazing, looking back, to see that these have really been at the forefront of everything that’s happened for me in the last year. *Note that I use the words ‘for me’ and not ‘to me,’ as everything that happens is for a higher purpose…even what we deem as bad or unnecessary!

Going through the process of my divorce over the past few months has clearly been a lesson in ‘relationship’ and ‘forgiveness’. I’m now back in Massachusetts with my family, which brings us to the fairly obvious ‘family’ and ‘tolerance,’ lessons.  I could not have predicted everything that has transpired and frankly I wouldn’t have wanted to.  I chose to come into this life to experience it, and that I have.

You may have noticed that my online radio show is on hiatus, and that my blog posts have been dwindling. The reason is simple. There comes a time in everyone’s life when we need to pull back, take inventory, and allow ourselves to go within to heal. The past couple of months have my time for that. As I’ve written in past posts, Bear is my totem animal, and Bear people often find themselves going into hibernation, retreating into their solitude. This is my time.

Although I’ve not been doing my ‘work,’ there has been a lot of other work that needed tending to, so it’s not as if I’ve been in total stillness.  Like most of you, my focus is a moving target. I want to emphasize to everyone that during the times in your life when things feel most turbulent, it’s most important to continue doing your inner work. Continue your meditation practices and never forget that your Spirit people are there for you. My People have been so patient with me during this time of rebirth. I could not have made it through without my connection to them.

I anticipate an amazing year coming with lots of surprises for everyone. The planet is being reborn and all of us are gifted with being a part of its evolution. Continue living from the heart and always remember that when you come from a place of love it is impossible to make a mistake.

Blessings to all of you and I look forward to many new and wonderful posts coming in 2012~  Thanks for hanging in there with me! ~

With Much Love,

Nicole

 

Posted in My story

Ego & Self-Love

•November 4, 2011 • 1 Comment

There’s a nasty rumor going around that loving yourself is some kind of conceited, selfish and egotistical act. This couldn’t be further from the truth, but it all depends on your definition of love.

“I love these shoes!” and “I love my new haircut!” are good examples of how we misuse the word love.  It’s a cultural and social thing, but it also distorts our perceptions as we allow this to become part of our psyche and mental landscape.

Truly loving yourself means something vastly different than making an impulse buy that gives you a quick rush, or eating an indulgent dessert because you worked hard and you ‘deserve’ it.

Real, true love comes from deep down in the soul, not from the ego. The soul speaks the language of encouragement and growth, not satisfying earthly desires with earthly pleasures. That’s a whole other blog!

When you love yourself, you don’t allow yourself to be treated unkindly by others or by yourself! Eating that indulgent dessert isn’t being loving to yourself, and neither is spending money impulsively because it momentarily makes you feel good. Loving yourself means taking time and care in the things that you do for yourself and for others.

One way to love yourself is to prepare your food from scratch, infusing it with love and care throughout the preparation. I, personally, feel great joy as I’m preparing my fruits and veggies for juicing. I look at each one and marvel at the miracle that it sprouted up from the ground without any effort on my part at all.  I silently give thanks for these gifts given to me by the earth and the sun. Thinking these loving thoughts brings about a certain energy. As you take in the vitamins and nutrients from your food, you are not just eating it, you are communing with the forces that created both you and the living nourishment you are taking in.

As I always say- the voice of the divine and its messages can be found all around us. Whenever I ponder a thought and give it focus, inevitably the answers appear around me.  Today, I decided to give a listen to the audiobook, “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho. In the first few minutes, the author recounts the story of Narcissus.  “Ahhh.. self love and the ego”, I thought, remembering my thoughts regarding this very subject as of late.  The voice of Jeremy Irons brought some drama to the story of Narcissus, explaining that he had loved his own reflection so much, he fell into the water and drowned. Later, a flower appeared where this occurred and it was named for Narcissus. At first glance, this is an extreme form of the love of self that comes from the ego. But the story doesn’t end there. It goes on to explain that the pond where he drowned had transformed from freshwater into salt water because it wept for the loss of Narcissus.  The forest nymphs assumed that the pond was saddened at the loss of such a beautiful creature, and were surprised to learn that the pond never noticed if Narcissus was beautiful. The water wept because it missed seeing its own reflection in Narcissus’ eyes.

So what was the message? If we are all seeing our own reflection in those around us, then anything we do for another, we do for ourselves.  This concept is thrown around a lot with very little explanation.  I first heard this in Catholic School, in the book of Matthew, chapter 25.

‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

It is loving to perform small acts of kindness such as holding the door open for someone, but it’s also a loving act for yourself. We tend to see in others, the things that we recognize in ourselves, and when we see that need in someone and respond lovingly we are really loving ourselves.

So make it a daily practice to commit random acts of kindness. They aren’t just good for others, they are food for your soul!

Posted in Soul Lessons, Spiritual Concepts & Teachings
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Living Your Truth in a Changing World.

•September 30, 2011 • Leave a Comment

Many of us are going through an awakening of sorts. There is a growing number of us that have realized that the way the world works is not in agreement or in alignment with who we are.  There is a famous quote written by William Blake which states, “If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite.”  I believe this is what is happening on the planet right now. Those who do not ‘believe’ for whatever reason are feeling it too, and you know what?  It is a joy to watch. Seeing my clients, friends and family members open their eyes, is a lot like seeing the expression on a baby’s face the first time he walks from one end of the room to another and realizes, “Oh my God, I can do it!”

This poses a unique challenge.

How do we live in a world that largely functions on a system of values that is in such opposition to our personal truth?

We recognize the flaw in our hunger for power over others.  We know our natural resources must be protected. We understand that strength comes from uniting as one people.  Yet the greater part of the world will continue to use the current model of capitalism, consumerism, and domination. It can be frustrating, and you surely have come to that place inside where you say to yourself, “there is so much to do to get everyone up to speed and I don’t know how to help it happen.”

Your purpose here is to be an agent of change.  It’s not just  your purpose, it’s your job!  Don’t be afraid to believe in something that others ridicule. Don’t be silent when you see injustice.  You don’t have to take on the world all by yourself, but your voice does make a difference, and so does your silence.

“He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it.” – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

What’s the answer to the above question?  Very simple.  By living your life according to your personal truth, you are a bright and shining example that cannot be ignored by others.  They may criticize, feel threatened or try to overanalyze you, but the bottom line is, you will represent to them, a new possibility they may not have dared dreamed of before. We are all expressions of God, and simply being, simply existing in this world as your true self is enough. You don’t have to be on television, write a bestselling novel or become a guru with millions of followers to make a difference in peoples’ lives.  Of course, if you are guided to express yourself, do so! Not all of us will be able to step out in front and produce something like a wonderfully shocking piece of artwork that will gain worldwide attention, and that is my point in sharing this message with all of you.

So say what you really think!  Be who you really are!  You make a difference, just the way you are.

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Finding the way to enlightenment.

•September 22, 2011 • 9 Comments

I started off this journey with the realization the things I saw and heard that I thought were imagination were actually happening.  As I’ve walked my path, I’ve come to know that one of the reasons for my strong connection is to be a spiritual teacher.

Of all that I’ve come to know through Spirit’s teachings, one is clear:  Everyone is looking for something but few are willing to do the work to obtain it.

What is that something?  Inner peace, spiritual evolution and that knowing that all is in its right place.

We, as a society look for the shortcuts to everything- gourmet meals made in 30 minutes, 7 -minute abs, pills that will solve all of our pains with one dose, etc.  It’s no different in the spiritual community.  Seekers that go to a guru to obtain a blessing that will send them straight to nirvana, or using technology to sync our brain waves so we don’t have to actually meditate are just two examples.

When will the human race realize that the true treasure is not in the destination, but in the journey?  That speeding toward the next achievement only appears as advancing, when in reality it’s the spaces in between these achievements that make us who we are?  I mean, didn’t anyone see the movie “Click” with Adam Sandler?  At least somebody in Hollywood tried to help us get it!

If you want to achieve enlightenment, spiritual evolution or simple inner peace, there is no shortcut- you have to do the work.  There is one analogy that Spirit gave to me that sums up this teaching- the beauty of the butterfly.

Most of us take the exquisite symbol of the butterfly for granted. We watch these lovely creatures fly through the air, giving tiny kisses to the flowers.  But we forget that these winged beauties were once little worms!  Imagine the caterpillar in the darkness of its cocoon, feeling the changes in its body and wondering when it will all be over.  The true transformation happens in darkness and uncertainty.

 There is a perfect process to every transformation that occurs. In other words, nothing happens without a purpose. We think the uncomfortable parts are unnecessary, and we can just skip to the ‘good stuff.’  But without the process,  we remain little worms, wondering how others become butterflies, while we remain unwilling to go into our cocoons to make it happen. 

There is only one way to enlightenment. You  must face yourself.  You must move through each experience, appreciating the gifts each one offers you.   There is no way around, above, below or beneath. You must walk in through the door.

Namaste.

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It’s so hard to say Goodbye

•August 25, 2011 • 1 Comment

As I begin to pack up my things and ready myself to move across country, once again, I am faced with the daunting task of what to take, what to leave and what to give away.

What’s my criteria for making this decision? Is it the value, the age or condition of an item?  Is it the frequency of use or whether or not there is room for it?  That may work for items that I have personally purchased, but truth be told, much of what I have, came to me by way of gifts from others and for me, one of the hardest things to do is to let go of something that was given to me!

Because I am a more ‘feeling’ person, I tend to hold onto things because I somehow feel the love and thoughtfulness behind the gift itself is contained within it.  You can imagine my heels digging in the ground with each item as I struggled to send it off to goodwill or list for sale.

Why is it so hard to give up our things?

I can remember holding onto a pair of designer jeans, for example, long after they even fit me because they were so coveted at the time when I got them that I didn’t want to let go of that feeling of social status or coolness.  I’ve long-held onto tiny figurines for which have no proper display case, but that I continue to hold onto because “I can’t throw this away, so-and-so gave this to me.”

Letting go of material things does not mean

you throw away the person

or the sentiment with which they were given. 

The biggest issue here isn’t really the things themselves, but rather the value, importance and attachment we assign to them. Love isn’t contained in the locket your former boyfriend gave you 10 years ago.  The soul of someone who has passed on is not going to come back to haunt you because you gave away a piece of their old furniture to charity.  As I always do when I have trouble with something, I asked my guides.

They gave me a simple affirmation to say as I am letting go of things that I no longer need but feel attached to.

Here it is:

“I take with me all of the love, and the spirit

with which this item was given to me,

but I now let go of the physical item.”

You will immediately feel a lifting of the sadness you felt at the thought of throwing away someone’s love. If love truly came in a box tied up with a ribbon, there wouldn’t be so many unhappy people, still looking for it in every face they see or storefront they pass by.

I know there are many of you out there who are facing hard times, like losing a home, a job or even a loved one.  Please know that although there is undoubtedly a lot of pain involved with these experiences, you are growing as a result of having them. Loss is a mighty teacher, and one that we would never invite willingly into our lives if given the chance while here in human form. These experiences are here to show you something, so don’t waste them by simply telling yourself that all hurt is evil and useless. Let yourself grieve, certainly.  Never deny yourself that.  But when you find that the tears are coming less frequently, there is a strange and unexpected calm that happens, and it is in that space that you have the power to put it all into perspective– but you can’t just jump to that place immediately.  Give yourself permission to get there and when you feel it’s too hard, sit quietly and pray for a sign. In addition I hope you will please come back to this blog and sift through it for inspiration or experiences I’ve shared that you can relate to, so you don’t feel so all alone.  That is why I write.  That is what this blog is here for.

When a loved one dies, there is a temptation to try to hold onto all the things he or she touched when they were alive.  Even something as simple as a kitchen table or a cookie jar can feel like they are worth their weight in gold.  Know that the person’s spirit and love live on in you, not in their material things.  Sure it’s okay to have one or two things that stick around to remind you of someone’s love.  Just remember that the love that person gave is just as alive in your physical form as the small item you hold in your hands.

Namaste and thank you for reading.

Posted in Soul Lessons, Spiritual Concepts & Teachings
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How to Pray For Money

•August 18, 2011 • Leave a Comment

My Teachers in Spirit have asked me to write about Money, and how we can remedy all of the struggle with this substance.  They offer one simple action that everyone can take, and it will only take a few seconds.

How to Pray For Money

1. Take out your wallet or whatever you used to keep your credit cards, cash and checkbook in, and place it before you.

2. Hold your hands over the items, close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths to focus.

3. State with intent, “I ask (God, Source, Spirit) to cleanse this Money of all negative energy, and  infuse it with love and healing.”

4. Continue to breath while visualizing that anything negative the Money may have been used for such as, buying something illegal, gambling, blackmail, corporate buyouts, or even dirty political campaigns, and see it as soot that is being removed and vaccumed up into the heavens to be transmuted into pure love.

Many spiritual people see money as evil, but that is not entirely true.  Money, itself, is just paper with printing on it. It is the INTENT behind how we use Money that makes it something bad.  If we all take a moment to pray over our wallets, our paychecks, or whatever else we use as currency about once a week, we can clean away a lot of the bad feelings associated with it, and instead, send it back out into circulation with good intent and love. Imagine the change we can affect around Money if we all put our energy toward this simple endeavor.

My “People” ask that we begin to make more conscious decisions when spending our money as well.  We feel too small to ‘take the system down,’ but this is not so.  There is great power in this.  It is important for people to wake up to the power they hold whenever they spend a dollar.  Each dollar you spend is your choice to participate in what you are putting your money toward.  Are you supporting businesses that are local and need your help, or are you funding the already rich and greedy companies that are putting hard-working people out on the streets?  With every dollar you spend, you are casting your vote for what it is you demand.

We can create a ripple in the supply-and-demand chain simply by making conscious decisions to spend our hard-earned dollars on products and services that have more than the bottom line at the top of their priority list.  What can you do differently to make this happen?  Let’s get back to that old “Power to the People” attitude!  The hippies had it right! (Wink)

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Follow Your Heart and Find Your Truth

•July 31, 2011 • 1 Comment

I recently came back from a trip back home to Cape Cod, Massachusetts. As always there are a few small shops that I make it a point to visit while I’m there. One of them is Tibetan Mandala, located on Main Street in downtown Hyannis.  What I like about this store is the feel of it.  It’s like stepping into a sacred space.  Although I do not know the name of the shopkeeper, I would recognize her kind face anywhere. She has a presence that is serene and reverent.  She has the kind of energy that is like a still pool. Just walking around the store sometimes makes me feel like I’m disturbing sacred ground!

I walked over to the case housing all of the beautiful jewelry that I enjoy perusing every year. Usually I’m in the market for sterling silver jewelry with semi-precious stones. I’ve always steered away from the other pieces there that were more specifically Buddhist.  This time I found myself drawn to the left side of the case where she had some very interesting pieces with Tibetan writing on them.  My logical mind was saying, “Those aren’t for you! You aren’t a buddhist and you don’t know what they mean.”  But my intuition was buzzing like a hive as if I’d stumbled upon something that I recognized from a long time ago, in a memory far, far away. As I said, I try to be very quiet in this store because it’s so peaceful, but I had to ask about these pieces. The shopkeeper told me that it was a Tibetan prayer to the buddha of compassion meaning ‘the jewel in the heart of the lotus.’  She wrote it down for me on one of her business cards so I could look it up later.

Turquoise earrings and pendant with the mantra "Om Mani Padme Hume"

I followed my heart and purchased the pendant and the earrings, not fully understanding what the prayer meant, but feeling like it matched the vibration I needed in my energy field at that time. Here is the prayer:

Om Mani Padme Hum

Because I had limited internet access while on vacation, I had to wait until I got home to find out more about this Tibetan Buddhist Prayer. I did a search and found a site called Dharma Haven that answered my questions. It is a prayer that asks for the ability to remove our fixation on ourselves and to step into a place of absolute compassion for all living things. This is a message I’ve been receiving from my guides over the last few weeks- to remember to come from a place of compassion in all things. It was confirmation that I was on target with my guidance, and together with the Tibetan Singing Bowl that also caught my eye, I now have a way of focusing on that intention and sending it out to the universe.  I’ve always been fascinated with this form of prayer, but it’s always been from a distance, despite my many visits to this wonderful little store.  This was the first time I actually purchased items.  This was the right time and the right vibration for me in this moment.

Guidance isn’t always meant as a direct order for action,

but rather a whisper of what is within the

realm of possibilities for our spiritual path.

In the end, we choose for ourselves. There is no one right way. 

On this site, I also found a story that truly touched me.  I am reposting here, but you can also visit Dharma Haven and read it there as well, along with more information about Tibetan Buddhism.

The True Sound of Truth

An old story speaks about a similar problem. A devoted meditator, after years concentrating on a particular mantra, had attained enough insight to begin teaching. The student’s humility was far from perfect, but the teachers at the monastery were not worried.

A few years of successful teaching left the meditator with no thoughts about learning from anyone; but upon hearing about a famous hermit living nearby, the opportunity was too exciting to be passed up.

The hermit lived alone on an island at the middle of a lake, so the meditator hired a man with a boat to row across to the island. The meditator was very respectful of the old hermit. As they shared some tea made with herbs the meditator asked him about his spiritual practice. The old man said he had no spiritual practice, except for a mantra which he repeated all the time to himself. The meditator was pleased: the hermit was using the same mantra he used himself — but when the hermit spoke the mantra aloud, the meditator was horrified!

“What’s wrong?” asked the hermit.

“I don’t know what to say. I’m afraid you’ve wasted your whole life! You are pronouncing the mantra incorrectly!”

“Oh Dear! That is terrible. How should I say it?”

The meditator gave the correct pronunciation, and the old hermit was very grateful, asking to be left alone so he could get started right away. On the way back across the lake the meditator, now confirmed as an accomplished teacher, the meditator was pondering the sad fate of the hermit.

“It’s so fortunate that I came along. At least he will have a little time to practice correctly before he dies.” Just then, the meditator noticed that the boatman was looking quite shocked, and turned to see the hermit standing respectfully on the water, next to the boat.

“Excuse me, please. I hate to bother you, but I’ve forgotten the correct pronunciation again. Would you please repeat it for me?”

“You obviously don’t need it,” stammered the meditator; but the old man persisted in his polite request until the meditator relented and told him again the way he thought the mantra should be pronounced.

The old hermit was saying the mantra very carefully, slowly, over and over, as he walked across the surface of the water back to the island.

Follow your inner wisdom. There is no right way, there is only the vibration of your intent. It is what you hold in your heart, that God hears regardless of what form of prayer or language you use. Follow your heart, and you will find your way and your truth!

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Knowing when it’s time to give it up

•June 30, 2011 • Leave a Comment

As I’ve said before both on my radio show and in my Facebook posts, there comes a time when all of the resistance you are feeling is not a sign for you to fight harder, but a sign that you should yield to Spirit.

The concept of surrendering to a higher power is not new. In fact, it’s a key component to the 12 steps in Alcoholics Anonymous- which if you look closely, is more than just about addiction to alcohol.  It’s about our unwillingness to tell ourselves that we cannot do it all alone.  Alcohol is only one of the ways people try to avoid facing themselves.  We also use things like sex, food, over-exercising, even over-working. Whatever you use as a means to escape your self, is an addiction.  It’s also a hard thing to stop once you’ve trained yourself to turn to it in times of trouble and need.

Sometimes our lessons in life aren’t about endurance, but surrender.  At this time of change on the planet, we are being asked to recognize and accept the gifts that surrender has for us. It’s not always about fighting.  Sometimes it’s about giving it up to a higher power, knowing that we see only a tiny piece of what’s happening but God can see it from infinite angles and possibilities.

It helps to know that all of the woo-woo that you hear from the spiritual community can be proven scientifically as well. I mentioned this on my last show but it’s worth repeating.  In the movie “What the Bleep do we know?” Marlee Matlin’s character finds herself on her way to work, only to be distracted by a young man on a basketball court who asks her to play. As the scene unfolds, the narrators- comprised of well-respected physicists, neurologists, and other experts on the science of consciousness- begin to introduce the concept of superposition.  This concept says that everything around us exists in multiple places and it is only the act of observing that collapses the possibilities into one place.

I highly recommend this DVD, but this clip will show you what I’m talking about.

Here’s what this means:

In essence, the act of letting something go and giving it to God, is the act of giving ourselves the gift of  infinite possibilities instead of using our limited perspective to make a decision.  

If this clip just blew your mind, then good!  It’s the same thing that religion has been telling us for centuries- we are all connected, and that includes a connection to Spirit. The act of engaging in any situation changes it, just by virtue of the interaction.  As the “observer,” you affect what you see around you, yes.  That is without question.  BUT, there comes a time when things aren’t working and it’s time to invite Spirit to merge with your human self.   They appear separate, but they are not.  We create that notion in our own minds.  The same way a pain in your wrist can be linked to an old shoulder injury, your emotions, thoughts and actions are directly linked to the way your life plays out. Invite in the holistic concept that your soul is an integrative part of your being and you will have learned the answer to one of the best kept secrets in life.

Thanks for reading!

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The Guides speak a little about Healing

•June 9, 2011 • 2 Comments

We get used to our wounds.  They become like old friends who we don’t want to let go of. In truth, there are many healers who find themselves dealing with people who simply do not want to heal.

There’s a flip side to this as well.  The ego, although a necessary part of us that we must learn to love and live in harmony with, is also the part that sometimes forgets that it’s not all in our hands.

I say this: I never walk into a healing session with the assumption that a person is broken.  As I see it, he or she is whole and as perfect in that very moment as the moment they were conceived.

Walking into a ‘healing session’ with the intent of fixing someone, is the equivalent of telling God that there’s been some sort of glitch that you now need to step in and correct. 

Who are we to say that something isn’t exactly as it should be?  Different stages of development may appear to be problems that need to be solved. Not all problems are really problems.  Being in an uncomfortable position is sometimes the very place we need to be in order to grow. Perhaps an illness is meant to teach a powerful lesson that cannot be learned any other way. Who are we to step in and say, ‘here’s a problem that I can take care of all by myself?”

Healers work with energy, and they can lend their energy to the healing process.  But in the end, it is the patient who heals himself. We are simply allowed to witness the wonders and marvels of what the Universe knows how to do- and much better than you or I could come up with, I assure you!

Limited perspective and the presence of the ego are gifts that we are born into this incarnation with. They are not obstacles that need to be overcome.  Healing happens when we do the one thing that is the hardest to do here– accept and love ourselves unconditionally.

Suffering has its place in the heart of humanity because it is a great teacher and healer. Who are we to judge it and then question God by asking, “if You are so great, why is this all happening to me?”  This flies directly in the face of what we’ve been taught about who God really is.  Not only that, but it is the very reason why we seem to be so lost as a human race.

We’ve created God in OUR image. 

Why so much talk about God lately?  I can’t answer that.  This seems to be the most important thing to convey from the Spirit world, and from my People.

Healing does not equal us seeing something wrong and then making it right. Healing can be a lifelong journey.  Sometimes we are chosen to participate in the healing of others, but we must never mistake being a witness to a miracle as being the sole being who caused it. We are all in this together. None of us can make it all alone, which is why we are all here together. If it were that easy, we’d all be here one at a time. Nothing is without a purpose, and we should always be careful to respect and honor the processes that are unfolding around us every single day.

If you’ve been fighting the good fight lately and have found it to be exhausting, it’s a sure sign that you’re trying to control something that isn’t meant to be controlled. Take a deep breath and allow things to happen for a change.  You will notice that it works out for the better of everyone involved  because the One behind it has a higher perspective.

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Length does not make strength!

•May 17, 2011 • 3 Comments

Mrs. Chaplick, my English teacher at Girls’ Catholic High School in Malden, MA circa 1992 (notice the actual chalk board and chalk in the background!)

When I was in high school, my English teacher, Mrs. Chaplick used to say “length does not make strength.”  This was in response to some of the wordy essays she would get.  More doesn’t always mean better.  Sometimes more just muddies the waters and buries the message in the writing.

Although it has been many years since I sat in her class, I always remember this phrase because it helps me remember that sometimes the simplest answer is the correct one.  And then it takes me to another place where I begin to understand what it truly means to be strong.

When we think of the strong people in our lives, we see them as leaders who have unwavering conviction and who back down at nothing.  They fight for what is right and needed.  They make waves and sometimes they make us feel uncomfortable.  Their strength can amplify our own fears that we are not enough to get the job done.

Well, here’s a secret:  It isn’t easy being the strong one.

Strong often means being the one that must go against the tide.  Strong people can make us feel weak or confused because they show us that what is accepted as a given isn’t the only way.  We love to look up to our strong brothers and sisters as heros, who paved the way so we could do things we could not do before.

The real wisdom in this phrase, “length does not make strength,” is that there is a time for us all to know when it is okay to back down. It’s not always about fighting for something.  Sometimes it takes great strength to simply walk away, or leave something behind.  Letting go of something or someone that has served its purpose is so difficult, people spend their whole lives stuck in place, unable to move on.

At times, strength can be quiet and unassuming, merely existing as an example for others to live by.  Strength is not always bold and in your face.  It can be found in those who care for the sick and elderly.  It can be found in the survivors of tragedies who continue to thrive despite the trauma they have endured.

You should never mistake being loud, obnoxious, threatening or bullying as strength, or should you think of being quiet, submissive, unquestioning or stepping away from a fight as weakness.  Each embodies its own form of strength.  When great love is shown in any action, there lies within it great strength.

Above all things, if you come from a place of love, know that you are as strong as the strongest person you admire in your own special way.

And thank you, Mrs. Chaplick.  You may have thought you were only my English teacher, but you taught me much more than you may ever know about life and what it means to be a strong person.

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In memory of my ‘true friend’

•May 6, 2011 • 3 Comments

*To protect the identity and privacy of those involved, names have been omitted, but I could not let this date go by without acknowledging it in some way as part of my own personal grieving process.*

She was a quirky mix of sweetness with a penchant for being a rebel. She was intelligent, and had the heart of a child.

April 2002. Our birthdays were close together, so we would go out for dinner somewhere in between the dates to celebrate. We had talked about her current relationship and that it would be over soon, as he would be going to jail in about a month.  She had always insisted that he was a good person inside and that he simply didn’t know what it meant to be loved by anyone.  She wanted to show him what love really meant.  I can remember  many nights listening to her justify this relationship in spite of the way this individual treated her.  He lied, stole from her, and all the while she stood by his side.  Her relief at his sentencing was fairly obvious and I was happy too.  I knew she could get herself together again if he was out of the picture.  Whenever she asked me about what I thought I would tell her quite unapologetically that I thought she should break up with him, and that she brought a lot of her own problems on herself.  This would temporarily upset her, but she always called me within a day or two to thank me for being a ‘true friend,’ and not just telling her what she wanted to hear.  I couldn’t change her mind, but I wouldn’t hide that I didn’t agree with her decision.

A couple of weeks passed and although I didn’t hear from her, it wasn’t unusual for us to go that long without calling or hanging out together.  I was at work in the middle of the afternoon when a message popped up on my screen from a mutual friend telling me that she had passed.  I thought it was a joke.  It wasn’t.  Not only was it real, they were burying her that very afternoon.  I broke down and with a mix of horror and confusion rushing through me, I left immediately and met my friend just in time to watch them put that tiny wooden box holding her remains into the ground.

They  said she committed suicide.  I didn’t believe that to be true, but there was no way I could prove it, and when the detective called me to ask about what I knew I had nothing to offer as evidence that she did not kill herself.  I was told that due to their religious beliefs (her family’s not hers) no autopsy was conducted, and she was cremated and buried within a day of being found in her apartment. So the detective had nothing to go on either.

About a month and a half later, my family had a group reading with a Medium, who very unexpectedly came through with a message for me from a ‘friend.’  And what was that message?  She said “Thank you for being a true friend.”   I knew who it was immediately, and was not expecting to hear from her during this reading.  It was the first reading I’d ever had, and because it was a group reading I didn’t know if I’d be read at all. The Medium also told me that this person does not take responsibility for taking her own life- confirmation of something I already knew in my heart. But there were no details to follow.

At that time, I was still unaware of my own gifts, and would often dismiss things I would receive as imagination.  Now I am able to speak to her myself, which I did tonight.  As I sat on the couch, she came to mind, and I heard “you are the same age that she was when she died,” being whispered to me by one of my guides.  I decided it was time to face what I did not want to face for so long, and finally gathered up the courage to ask her what really happened to her so that I could have some closure.  She conveyed to me that her death was accidental and what happened was not intended to take her life.  Some of this brought me relief, as I know that she did not suffer and that it was not a violent death, but it still does not bring my friend back.

She wanted me to know, once again, that she was grateful to me for being her friend.  I told her that I was sorry I was not able to do something to stop this from happening to her, and she assured me that it was her time, or ‘exit point,’ as she put it.  I apologized and contradicted her compliment telling her that I was not a good friend and that I was often impatient with her.  She had this to say, and there is a lesson in it for everyone reading right now.

“Being a friend isn’t about always being in agreement with another person’s decisions.  I didn’t need you to make my decisions for me or to agree with them.  I needed you to be there beside me while I was making them, and you were, and I’m thankful for that. That is what being a true friend means.”

There were a couple of very trademark expressions said in addition, but this is what I feel is important to share with others about this experience. She made a comment also that she wished she had this much wisdom when she was here, which made me smile.  I asked her what she was doing there now, and she told me she is working with souls who pass in sudden accidents by helping them cross over.  She is still the same girl, wanting to reach out to ‘save’ people,  but now she has a little different perspective.

Tomorrow is the anniversary of her death.  She died at the age of 36.  Her life had meaning, and there is something to be learned from it.  I will always remember her for her big heart, and  I know that most of the people whose lives she touched will not ever forget her.  I won’t either.

In memory of my ‘true friend,’  You are not forgotten.

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Mediumship means respect for those in both worlds.

•April 28, 2011 • Leave a Comment

Not everyone who has psychic abilities uses them correctly– and by correctly, I mean with respect.  It’s one of the things I find most horrifying about the spiritual community–the assumption that just because you have the ability to look into someone’s energy field, you can do it whenever you like, with or without a person’s consent.

Why is this an issue?  Because it’s like snooping around someone’s home.  It is an invasion of their privacy.

It has been said that with great power comes great responsibility. Yes, it does feel good to be able to help someone heal through the gift of mediumship, however, it should never be used as a way to appear superior to others. Most of us who do this professionally understand that these gifts should always be used with gratitude and reverence, but there are many whose motivation comes from a place that satisfies their own need to feel special and important.

I happen to be a Lisa Williams fan, and the reason is this: when she asks that famous question, “do you want to know everything?” she is demonstrating her respect for the person she is doing the reading for, and for the Spirit World.

It is not okay to use your abilities to read someone

without their permission.

Whenever I have the opportunity to explain that I am a medium, I am absolutely sure to include this piece of the puzzle, because the first assumption after someone hears this is that I am already downloading information about them and their loved ones in Spirit. I’m not.  When you come to me for a reading, you’ve given me your consent to merge with your energy and talk to your Spirit people.  I wouldn’t walk through your front door uninvited, so why would I invade your energy without being asked?

One of the biggest responsibilities with mediumship is trust.  With the greatest respect for my clients, I say this- do not go to a medium if you are not comfortable with opening up or feel you have something to hide. Your Spirit people may share personal information that is for you only, however, through the process of mediumship, the medium will be witness to this information as well.  In order for you have the best experience possible, I feel that it is necessary to bring down your walls.  Most of my clients have told me that my energy puts them at ease and they feel very comfortable with opening up, which I take as a very high compliment.  If you decide to have a reading with me, I hope this will be your experience as well.

My process for mediumship begins with a prayer to my guides to help me bring my vibration up to meet theirs so that I may be able to be as clear as possible.  It also includes a petition to Spirit for permission to make contact with your Spirit people so that I may be a clear channel for the information they would like to pass to my clients.  I could not fathom doing a reading without asking for this. When someone comes to me with a specific request to speak to someone in particular, I shift my energy and ask, “If it is okay, I would like to speak to ‘____’.  I never approach the situation with an air of entitlement.  That would lower my vibration and invite in energies that neither me nor my clients would want to commune with.  This is where it makes a huge difference in having an ethical, respectful medium as opposed to someone who uses their gifts for personal satisfaction.  If the medium has only the purest intention when stepping into their gift, you will receive only the highest and best guidance, as well messages from the other side.  Make this your #1 priority when selecting a medium.  If you do this, you will be in good hands.

I consider the ability to merge with Spirit to be a privilege, and treat it with reverence and respect.  It is my promise that if you come to me for a reading, you will feel the peace and presence of mind that you deserve.  And although I won’t word it quite the same way, in my own way I will ask you if you would like to know everything.

This post is dedicated to Lisa Williams, and to my own mentor, Jackie Waitkus, for being bright, shining examples for the purity of Spirit Communication.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart for teaching me to have the same reverence and respect for those in the Spirit World, as I would for those in this one.

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Connecting to the Star People

•April 20, 2011 • 3 Comments

A few months ago, I posted about my experience with the Star People- which is the name given to me by the beings of light that began to show up during my meditations around the time I experienced the frequencies of Reconnective Healing.  I promised to write more about them, but I wasn’t yet ready to talk about this subject.  As you may have guessed, my decision to ignore it did not make it go away.  My aim is to try to keep this short, so if you’d like to read that post and get some background information on my initial encounters with these beings, click here.

When you open up to your abilities, you have to remember that the ‘other side’ is only one dimension, and that there are many others you can access.  Not only that, but once you are open, other beings will see your light as a beacon and will reach out to you, so be careful what you ask for because you just might get it.

Their wisdom is a bit different from what I’ve heard from the beings I’ve identified as my Spirit Guides, but only in their presentation and perspective.  Here are three key concepts that have been given to me to share with everyone.

1. Transformation ONLY takes place in the Darkness.

‘Seeing the light’ can only happen if one is immersed in darkness.  All of the depictions in movies and television shows of people who finally turn their lives around or realize the true meaning in something seem to imply that the light is what transforms them. This is not so.  The true transformation never happens in the light. It happens in the dark.  I was told, “Darkness is not only the absence of light, and it is not evil.” The first part talks about the things that happen in the dark that happen at no other time.  Our bodies repair and rebuild when we sleep, and we sleep when it is dark.  There are a variety of flowers that bloom only in the moonlight.  The second part deals with our own narrow-minded judgement of what is good and what is bad. When things are their worst, we call it the dark night of the soul, and it is here that the real growth or ‘transformation’ happens.  A caterpillar is most likely uncomfortable, somewhat fearful and unsure about the changes happening as it rests in the darkness of its cocoon, but it is within that darkness that it is transforming into a beautiful butterfly.

2. All things in the Universe are in perfect Harmony.

When I asked them why they wanted to help us and why they were sending us the gift of Reconnective Healing, their answer was this. “Why do you seek to save certain animals like the Bear?”  I answered that all of the animals are a part of the web of life, and play a role in our ecosystem.  And that was their answer. We, humans, are a very important part of the fabric of the cosmos. Our environment threatens our very existence- be it through our own fault or otherwise. The absence of our people and the life that exists here would send a ripple throughout the cosmos.  It is as I’ve always told my clients- one soul makes a difference.  You matter.  It is a truth, even if you may not have a context with which to understand it. This is another example of the concept of oneness, and the importance of each and every thing you see around you, be it good or bad in your own estimation.

3. Time and Space are the same thing.

To illustrate this, they gave me the example of a destination.  In order to get to that place it would take x amount of time, so the distance between the two locations was equal to the amount of time it would take to travel there. I don’t know how to quite explain this one, but it seems to have something to do with the fact that we’ve been hearing that time is speeding up.  If space and time are the same, then time speeding up means that space is also being affected. What if the spaces in between matter are getting smaller?  If the spaces between everything are getting smaller, then everything is moving closer together, and the energy is being compacted. I’m no scientist, but if that’s the case, I’m sure it has a lot to do with the shift on the planet at this time, and why so many of us are much  more aware of our spirituality than before.

Whatever your take on this is, please know that nothing I’m posting here is meant to cause fear or panic, but always to educate and ‘do my job.’  When these beings first appeared, I was just as shocked as anyone would be, and I have hesitated for over a year to begin to share these experiences.  My hope is that you will find these insights to be a catalyst for you to begin to open up to what is happening on this planet, and to see yet another dimension of that phrase I love to say, “we are not alone.”

Posted in My story, Spiritual Concepts & Teachings
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Never waste an experience!

•April 16, 2011 • 2 Comments

Today’s wisdom from my guides is this- Never waste an experience!

No matter what is happening in your life right now, it is there for a purpose.  It is when things are at their worst, that we are at our best.  When we have what we term to be ‘bad’ experiences, we compartmentalize them and tuck them safely away. Why?  Because pain hurts, and we don’t like to be hurt.

See the hidden gifts in pain.

Pain brings us into the present moment. It tells us that we have been ignoring something that is valuable for us to know. It helps us to sympathize with other people who are in pain.

You see, all of your experiences have value. Good or bad, however you judge them, they have meaning, value and purpose.  The secret to life is to reap the lessons in every experience.  Instead of putting your experiences into little boxes and stuffing them in the closet of your mind and body, remember that you are not the sum of your experiences– you are a reflection of how you handle them.  Even in the situations where you reacted poorly, there is value that should be carried with you as you move on to the next lesson.

All of your seemingly separate sides seek to be integrated!  Mine the treasure from your darkness as well as your light. Take all the energy of all of your experiences and the lessons you take from them and allow them to blend together.  It is in denying our feelings that we cause our own suffering.

What lessons can you find in your most recent experiences?

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“I have my own place, I go at my own pace.”

•April 7, 2011 • 3 Comments

The message for today is simple as always.  When it comes to the way we move through our lives, we often forget that we are the captain of our own soul.

When you find yourself in a state of confusion about how to make a decision to move forward, remember that the best person to judge what direction to go in is you.

Know Thy Self

You know you best…unless you’ve been hiding from yourself.  If that’s the case, the very best thing you can do for yourself is to know thy self.  It is your only salvation. How can you know what to do if you don’t know who you are?

Embrace Your Feelings

Do not avoid your emotions.  They are like billboards that appear to tell you something you’re not paying attention to.  Anger tells you that your boundaries have been violated.  Sadness is a powerful cleanser.  I highly recommend that you take a look at a book called, “The Language of Emotions,” by Karla McLaren.  She is the ultimate teacher of how to face and understand the power of your emotions.

Always remember that you have your own place in this universe, and that you are in charge of your own pace.  If you want something to happen in your life, ask the Universe, but then let go of the ‘how’ and let it happen.  The Universe has a marvelous intelligence that knows how to bring it all together for the good of ALL. The key is to be in the flow, not to try to control it.

So say this to yourself in times of frustration and confusion and let it remind you,

“I have my own place, I go at my own pace.”

Posted in Soul Lessons, Spiritual Concepts & Teachings
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Taking time to care for the ‘Self’

•March 24, 2011 • 1 Comment

Today’s message isn’t necessarily from Spirit, but from the part of me that has had to learn this lesson the hard way  and that the limits we place on ourselves are largely self-imposed. As a Massage Therapist, I see people every day who do not take good care of themselves.  I hear things like, “I just don’t have enough time,” and “my job has me working all hours of the day.”  Many of my clients are busy taking care of their children, spouses and homes in addition to working full or part-time jobs. Our culture demands us to be bigger, better, faster, and more than we could ever imagine.  But they seem to leave out one little detail- how to manage the many moving parts of our lives so they all work in harmony and create a life of balance.

We live on auto-pilot and allow ourselves to get swept up in everyone else’s drama. Which of these stories do you tell youself?

Myth #1:  I don’t have enough time.

This is utter and complete BS!  You have the same amount of hours in every day (with the exception of daylight savings time). Don’t blame it on the time you have, blame yourself for how you use it!  You choose what to do with your time. If there’s something you’re not doing it’s not because you don’t have the time, it’s because it’s not something you think is important enough to do. Be honest with yourself!  When you have free time, you know you find other things to do so you don’t ever have to do the things you ‘dont’ have time for.’

Myth #2 :  Choosing to do something for myself over others makes me selfish.

Women are especially guilty of this. Now I’m not saying that men have it easy. Both sides have their crosses to bear.  Women, however, are generally expected to care for everyone else’s needs before they so much as even think about their own. Please for one moment, take a little time for yourself!  Now if you’re wearing a Chanel suit while your kids are wearing rags you may have a problem, but if it’s the other way around it is just as out of balance. You are just as important as everyone around you.  Here is a tip: try to treat yourself as good as you do others.  You’ll see right away that there’s a major difference, and that you’ve not been kind or humane with yourself by not respecting your physical, mental and emotional limits.

Myth # 3:  I have to do everything all by myself.

This is another one that way too many people are telling themselves. Where was it written that it is the ultimate sin if we reach out and ask for help?  Or even worse– why is it that when we are offered help repeatedly we refuse it because we have issues with ‘taking’ from others?  If it is offered, it is not taking!  If you are a giver then you are well-aware of the joy it can bring to be able to give something to someone who needs it.  Why would you take that away from someone else?  Be a gracious receiver. This goes for Heavenly help as well! When you ask for help, you will receive your answer, but it may not be the one you expected.  Keep an open mind and trust that your spiritual support team is hard at work to ease the burden of your daily woes.

The Solution:

Taking 10-15 minutes in the morning and the evening to be still.

Take this small amount of time for yourself to do some breathing exercises, meditation, affirmations or whatever you need. This step, though small, will get you moving in the right direction. It CAN be this simple.  Little changes have a great effect and change behavior over time.  If you have trouble being still, use the time in the morning to set your intentions for the day, and then reflect back on what worked well before retiring at night.  You may not see this as being particularly spiritual, but when you honor the God in you by doing a small ritual like this, your soul will feel it.

Take time to nourish your ‘self.’  And instead of all the excuses which always stir up negative energy, start telling yourself a new story about the life you want to live and how you can take a small step toward that life each day.

Posted in My story, Soul Lessons
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What’s a Spirit Messenger?

•February 28, 2011 • 6 Comments

I call myself various things, depending on how I need to explain it, but overall the term that is most comfortable and meaningful to me is

Spirit Messenger.

As human beings, we like our definitions.  They make us feel safe and secure, and give us a sense of being finite, which is also something we like because it gives our minds the impression that we don’t have to worry about infinite possibilities when we deal with someone or something. So here are my personal guidelines for these new age terms.

Psychic has its own connotations. People think it means ‘fortune-telling’ or learning about their future.  I use this word as a segue, and then twist its meaning a bit to help people understand that it’s a more inclusive term than they may think.  We’re all psychic! Psychic means the ability to get information that is beyond our physical senses.  I like what Sylvia Browne has to say about imagination taking credit for many things that are actually psychic.

Mediums have the ability to communicate with the Spirit world.  Many beings and entities reside outside of this physical existence.  Although I’m not exactly sure how to describe the Spirit world, I can tell you that it has many layers. Let’s look at this from a different perspective.   Let’s say you’re from Mars, and you tell a friend there that you communicate with ‘Earthlings.’  Well, from that we could make many assumptions.  First of all Earth is full of different places, cultures and races of people.  You couldn’t say that all of Earth is icy like the poles, and that all people pierce their tongues and have tribal tattoos just because the one Earthling you communicate with happens to have these characteristics, right?  It’s the same with Spirit. It’s not just one destination with one kind of being.  It’s much more infinite!   So being a medium does not only mean talking to those who have transitioned to the ‘other side.’  That is only one kind of mediumship.  Medium, by its very definition, is a go-between, that makes it possible for information to be received.  A radio is a medium.  We take for granted that we can flip on the radio and hear our favorite music.  We forget that the actual sound and programming isn’t coming from the radio.  It’s the medium that picks up the signals and allows us to get the music and information.

Spirit Messenger is a term that allows me the freedom to do all of the things that I do without having to label any of them as one thing or another.  I bring through messages from the Spirit realm.  They could be from a variety of sources, and they can have different meanings for different people.  I have agreed to be the medium- not the source!  I don’t always understand what the message means to the person I am giving it to, I only know what they tell me to relay.  That’s why people like me often ask the sitter what the message means after the reading.  We truly don’t know everything.  We are only channels for the information to come through.  The same way a radio doesn’t contain all of the information and music that has ever come through it and ever will, we do not contain the information.  We only let it pass through us.

I hope this explains a little better what it is that I do.  I consider myself a servant of Spirit.  It is not my job to tell you what to do.  It is not my job to tell you your future– which changes every day based on the decisions you make, and is NOT finite either!  It’s my job to help you understand who you are, and what you are capable of, so you can evolve spiritually and go on to teach others.  We are all each other’s ancestors, and regardless of your earthly identity, social standing, appearance or ethnic background, we are all the spirits having the a human experience. We are all energy, and expressions of ‘God.’

Namaste means that the divine in me recognizes and honors the divine in you.  It is an acknowledgement from my spirit to yours, beyond the physical.  All of that, compacted into one little word.  This is how we should all walk through life, knowing we each have one foot in each world.

Namaste!

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No one ever really dies

•February 23, 2011 • 2 Comments

This may be a hard thing to comprehend, but it is something I know.  If you’re a science buff, you may remember that at the basic level, scientists can see a tiny charge that strikes like a lightening bolt between the two tiniest particles they can see with current technology.  Ladies and gentleman, meet God.

Albert Einstein taught us that ‘energy cannot be created nor destroyed- it can only change form.’  If this is true, then nothing ever really dies and everything has always existed.  What a fantastic concept.  Reality is based on our own individual perception.  We only know the reality we directly experience.  So I’d like to share one of my ‘surreal’ type experiences with you.

My Dad’s side of the family came to America when he was only a young boy.  They worked hard, and built a good life for themselves.  In Italian culture, the center is always the family.  Over the years we had traditions and those traditions were never compromised.  Every holiday, even the ones that aren’t ‘real’ holidays like Labor Day, were spent with the family.  My grandparents were so proud of their children and their grandchildren, and their love always showed.

In 2001, my brothers (with the help of my parents) became the owners of a bakery.  They had both worked very hard to learn their trade, earning gold medals in state and national competitions.  They were young- 21 and 23- and about to embark on being entrepeneurs.  The day that bakery opened was a proud day for my grandfather, whom we call Nonno.   Although he wasn’t feeling well that day, he wouldn’t have missed it for the world. My grandmother, Nonni, told him they could go visit the bakery another day if he didn’t  feel well, but he insisted. “No,” he said, “today is the day they open, and today is the day I’m going.”

This photo was taken when I was about 12. That's my Nonno in the middle and my brothers on his lap. His expression is so serious and we are all silly. It's one of my favorites because of that.

Shortly after his visit to the bakery, he went into the hospital.  He had a heart attack, and it wasn’t the first or the second.  He was put in intensive care and we could only see him one at a time (because my Nonni wouldn’t leave his side). I remember going into the room and seeing him smile as soon as he saw me. By the sound of his voice you wouldn’t know anything was wrong.  “Nicole!  How are you?” he said.  I looked at him and put my hand on his arm and said, “Nonno, I’m okay, how are YOU?”  I was struck by how selfless and loving he was in that moment, as if I’d never noticed before.  He said, “I’m all right, Nonno”  (he sometimes called us that in return).

About 6 months earlier I had broken off a 5 year relationship with my boyfriend and in their eyes this was tragic.  They were from the old country, and that meant if you were a young girl, you didn’t stay single.  My Nonni had told him I had a date a few days ago and he got really excited for me.  I’ll never forget his next words.  “You have a boyfriend, Nicole?  Oh good, now I can die happy.”

That was the last day he spoke.  I won’t go into the details from there, but he passed within about a month of that day.   Years passed and although I have always had a ‘gift,’ at that point in time I was still struggling  with whether or not it was real and talking myself out of messages all the time.  My mother and aunt happened to have a reading with the woman who would become my mentor, Jackie Waitkus, and I had asked to listen in.  I was all the way in Texas and they were in Massachusetts.  At the end of the session I chimed in because I had a recurrent dream that I wondered about.  This dream was persistent, and it was always the same.  It was a dream of my family, all gathered at my grandparent’s house like always, and as I’m walking around the house, I see Nonno.  He is gleemingly bright, like the difference between black and white and Technicolor.  The rest of the people and scenery seemed dull in comparison.  I walk over to him and say, “Nonno!  What are you doing here?  You died!”  He just simply says, “No, I’m alive.”  Then my dream shifts to the day of the funeral, as if I’m remembering.  I tell him again, “No, Nonno, I saw you.  They put you in the ground.  You died.”  He kept saying answering the same, “No, I’m alive.”

After I finished telling her about the dream, she said this was his way of showing me how he is now, and brought through more information from him to us.  He told us he’s healthy and vibrant now and not sick anymore.  He also expressed that when he passed on, he was very surprised that he was ‘still there.’  How fantastic to think that he thought he was saying goodbye to all of us, only to find that he was still there and could still see all of us.  I was a little shocked to hear it myself!  With spirits, you never know what they might say or observe, and a lot of the time you hear things you’d never expect.  Jackie said that he was very interested in my work and that he wishes he was more like I am when he was here.  That made me cry, because of all the people who I would like to be like, it was him. He was content just being with all of us.  We were the source of his joy.

My Nonno was a gentle and kind spirit, who always thought of others before himself. He had a score of health issues, but you never heard him speak a word of them, nor did he ever indicate he was uncomfortable in any way. He was always grateful, and gracious. He worked hard all this life.  Even after he retired, he still continued to work hard on the house and the garden, and spent as much time as he could with us, his family.

Whenever we’ve had a reading with Jackie, he would remain in the background– until someone asks for him.  Then he gladly steps forward.  Jackie said when I asked for him, her people said, “oh, they want to talk to the quiet man.”  Quiet, selfless, and yet brighter than a bright star in the sky.  We will always love you , Nonno, and we will never forget what you taught us, just be being who you are.

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How can I change the world?

•February 16, 2011 • Leave a Comment

This is a question that many of us ask, but the answer seems illusive… or does it?

For many years, I would ask questions and I would be answered by an inner voice who would tell me one simple thing: lead by example.  My ego mind would then wonder how that would be enough.  How could it be that simple?  But my heart knew this answer was the truth.

Every day I make an effort to live from the heart.  In my work, I am often told by my clients and even friends that they just seem to feel better whenever they see me.  I take this as physical evidence that what my heart knows is true. There is a physical effect when we live from our heart.  It is the only way we can make this world a better place.

If there is one action that we can take to bring ourselves to that blissful state of inner peace it is taking responsibility for our own actions and choices.  This is the first step.  By living this way, we are remembering who we are.  We are more than someone’s mother, brother, or whatever our job is.  When you live from your heart, and take responsibility for your choices, something magical happens.  You realize your power, and you begin to understand that you really do have control over your state of being.

Then something else happens.  By living this way, others will begin to notice you.  At first you may just notice strangers whose gaze lingers just a little longer than you might expect.  What do they see?  They see YOU.  Not the you that is the mother, brother or job, but the authentic you that has always been there, and is finally beginning to shine through.  It may not be a conscious process to others who will pick up on this, but it will definitely be happening.  Simply by being your true essence, you are affecting everything around you.

This is what is meant by the power of the divine feminine.  We have been taught for many years that being women means being weak.  That vulnerablity is weakness, and showing emotions is unacceptable.  Remember this one thing- you were taught this.  Left to your own ability to discern what is good and what is bad, without these teachings and more importantly, without these EXAMPLES, you may have drawn another conclusion.

You change the world, simply by being in it.  You affect everything around you, simply because you exist.

The Spirit People want me to let you know, today, that there is nothing more powerful than compassion, and that no sword could compete with the power of loving.  Think of how quickly a wicked heart melts when it finally recognizes the love in the eyes of the one gazing back at them.  Remember how even the worst wounds can heal when given the loving energy of nursing and caring for it- both deemed feminine qualities.

The mighty oak began as a tiny acorn. When that acorn receives the gift of  resting in the soil, and is nourished by the rain and sun, it becomes a strong and mighty oak tree.  Being loving, compassionate and nurturing does not make you weak.  In fact, it is quite the opposite.

It’s time to un-learn what we once thought of as absolute truth.  That the male energy of destruction and war is not the answer, and that the only way we can affect everything we see around us is to be living examples, living from the heart.

You cannot will others to live this way so that your world will be a better place. You have to make it a better place by living this way yourself.  Stop looking around yourself and turn your attention inward.  That truly is the place we all need to start.

This is a simple truth, and that is what makes it so powerful and so beautiful.

You must be the change you want to see in the world. ~ Mahatma Ghandi

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2012: A Return to the Old Ways

•February 2, 2011 • 1 Comment

On a day like today, when it’s 20 degrees outside, most of us like to bundle up on the couch with a movie and some microwave popcorn. But for a lot of us in San Antonio, that’s not going to happen. Why? Two words: power outage.

This may seem like a disaster, especially because of the cold. No heat, no tv, no cooking, and no electronics. But you know what we do have? Absolute quiet, and stillness. Think about it. When was the last time you had no distractions? Even if you turn your cell phone off, you know that as soon as you turn it back on, you’ll have missed something, thus destroying your sense of peace. The things that were once a necessity have become a novelty. Lighting the fireplace is no longer for heating our homes, but for ambiance.

Today, as we light our fires out of necessity, we see the absolute power that we have given over to technology. Businesses will lose money because they operate with computers and cash registers which require electricity. Even the pumps at the gas stations cannot do their work without power. Without our reliance on modern technology, where would we be? There were times not too long ago when things like hot water and electricity were luxuries. We COULD live without them, as undesirable as that may now seem. These wonderful modern inventions that we owned, now own us. Even now as I type on this laptop (which has only 20% battery life at the moment), I can remember a time when I sat in my bedroom as a teenager with nothing but a notebook and my favorite pen, never feeling deprived of anything at all as I let my imagination flow out onto the pages. Because I live in the modern world, I’ve adapted to this lifestyle of being reliant on technology. Truth be told, if I had the choice I wouldn’t bother with any of it.

When I was a kid, one of my favorite movies was “The Wilderness Family,” which, if I remember correctly, was the tale of a family who chose to live out in the wilderness due to their daughter’s extreme breathing issues from living in the industrialized world. What a dream to live in the middle of the wildest parts of this country, gathering water from a nearby river and living in a log cabin. Sure there were dangers, but the beauty of the land and the bond of the family as they worked together seemed to outweigh any of it. I can still sing the theme song: “We work together- cut, trim, nail those boards. We’ll build a home forever more. This is the land that loves and keeps us free. That’s why we are the wilderness family.”

When I talk about the cottage on Cape Cod, I feel that same sense of oneness with nature. Without internet access, a cell

Me and Mom at the cottage on Cape Cod

tower signal, or even basic cable and phone, it’s still my favorite place to be, feeling nestled in nature, cared for by the shade of the trees on a warm day. There was no microwave or dishwasher. There was no washing machine or dryer. And you know what? I never noticed. The absence of these things made doing these tasks a more interactive experience. The things I remember from my childhood are things like standing by the sink as my mother washed the dishes, and gathering up the laundry together (on the Cape) and going to the laundromat. Working together toward a common goal as a family is what created these bonds. My father never packed a bunch of toys in a car and drove us to the beach. We took a pail and a shovel for each of us, and we walked down there ourselves, my father carrying nothing but his chair and maybe a small cooler. We didn’t need mp3 players, handheld gaming systems or any of that to busy ourselves. We kept each other company.

The doomsday prophesies of 2012 have more to do with returning to the old ways, than nature overriding us. Before all of this infrastructure, we had family bonds that could never match the distance that we see in families today as a result of technological advancement. Where have we let technology lead us? The more we us it to communicate with one another, the further apart it drives us.

The Pleiadeans have spoken to us about this very thing through the messages that people like Barbara Marciniak have channeled. If they truly are a more advanced race that is reaching out to us to help us save this planet, then we should heed their warnings– not about the advancement of science and technology, but about the misuse of it. All of our modern inventions have been modeled after nature. The computer is modeled after the brain. Irrigation is modeled after trees and plants. The difference is, the things that exist in nature were created to exist in harmony with all of its counterparts. The things we build to replicate those functions are synthetic, and cannot replace what God has already made perfect. Man is fallible by design. So why do we think we can do better than God?

I leave you with this thought. If there is one thing you can do to improve your sense of well-being and even your health, it’s removing yourself from the electronics as much as possible. In the absence of these things, you will be immediately transported into the present moment, no longer worried about what comes next, or what you missed. Spend time in nature. As for 2012, If anything is going to destroy this planet, it’s us. The technology we put in place to keep nature at bay is what will cause these so-called ‘natural disasters.‘ The radiation, the pollution and the structures we’ve built on landfills are made by man, and do not exist in harmony with nature, but seek to replace it.

I’ll tell you this- all of these things cannot hold a candle to the intelligence that is within even the smallest leaf of a tree, nor can they ever replace the life force within that is our God-selves. Return to the old ways, and you will never have to worry about how to survive on this planet, whether your electricity goes out, or you are stranded in unfamiliar territory. Remember who you are, and trust your instincts. They are our natural reference points, and require only the power of our souls, unlike the internet. 🙂 Namaste.

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Fight the good fight.

•January 29, 2011 • Leave a Comment

As I’ve often said on my weekly Confessions of a Spirit Messenger radio show, whenever  Spirit wants you to know something, you will get a sign of some sort. The signs and symbols themselves are as varied as each individual person receiving the message.

When you invite Spirit into your life, be sure to be open because you may not receive the message the way you think you will.  For the most part, there will be no booming voice from the sky, fireworks or lightning striking.  It will be more subtle, but it will get your attention.  ‘They’ are very good at knowing just how to reach you.

Because I am a ‘Messenger,’ and Spirit knows I will be sharing my experiences, I tend to get them in varied and interesting ways, so they can be well-received and understood by others.  Having said that, I’d like to share a message that came through to me through synchronicities over the last three days.

I’ve always been a ‘reader,’ and because of that, Spirit likes to send me messages by way of words- especially words that embody a distinct, unmistakable concept.  For me, they always come in three’s.

I decided to catch up on all the shows piled up on my DVR.  One of them was “Hot in Cleveland.”   The  main characters were having a day of beauty, and when asked what they were doing Valerie Bertinelli said  “You know, fighting the good fight.”  It was as if this phrase was the only thing I heard come out of her mouth.  The words stood out in a way that really caught my attention.  When this happens, I feel as though I’m in a state of altered perception for a split second- just enough time for me to get the message.  I thought, ‘Ooo, this means something.”  I let it go.

Yesterday I went to see ‘The Rite,’ starring Anthony Hopkins.  Great flick by the way.  Check out my review here.  At some point during that movie, there were the magic words again- “fight the good fight.”  I became really alert and remembered that I had heard that once before and this was the second time.  A third time and I would be sure it was a message for me from Spirit.

Today, I worked at the spa, as I do every Saturday.  I never know what I’m in for, but it’s always interesting.  I was supposed to get out of work around 4, but one of my clients spent a little more time chatting after her session than expected and it set me back about 25 minutes!  My last customer was my boss, and since both of us were finished up with our ‘real’ clients for the day, it was not a big deal.  On the way home, I tuned into my favorite radio station, KZEP 104.5. Since I was in no hurry, I took the long way home.  After a block of commercials, the dj announced the next song as Triumph’s “Fight the good fight.”  Good thing I was at a red light because I’m sure I would have drifted over into the next lane!  There it was again! This begs the question, “if I had left on time at 4, would I have missed the sign?”  They say everything happens for a reason, and sometimes a slight change of plans is for a greater purpose.

Okay, so three times is my confirmation that it’s a message.  Then comes the next part of the assignment interpreting the message.  I asked my guides what this meant.  They told me it was a turn of phrase that would have a reference.  They like me to do the work.  No hand-outs!

After some checking online, I found a site that gave me what I was looking for. It said this:

Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.   -1Timothy 6:12.

How amazing is this?  Um, crazy amazing!  Imagine the work my Spirit Guides had to do in order for all of these events to come together, in close succession, so I would get the message and accept it without question. This is how Spirit works! Oh, and in case the actual message isn’t clear, I’ll give you the punchline.  When asking for guidance, I don’t always get an instant answer, but that doesn’t mean it won’t come at all.  With all of the balls I have up in the air, I was worried that I was spreading myself too thin and, in the words of George Thorogood, should just ‘get a haircut and get a real job’.  This was my confirmation to keep going and to ‘fight the good fight of the faith.’  If you didn’t notice, this passage even uses the word, ‘confession,’ that has been the trademark theme of all of my writings. My confession, is my coming out of the spiritual closet and coming into my own- to the presence of MANY witnesses, for sure!  I’ve always considered myself a rebel, and this is not without purpose!

Spirit knows you need encouragement while you’re on your journey, and  your guides and angels are always close by, waiting to offer you assistance.  All you have to do is ask.  It’s not always what you’d expect.  Sometimes its just a confirmation that you’re going in the right direction.

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Could the Lemur be my new animal spirit totem?

•January 25, 2011 • 4 Comments

Last night I had a dream that I was looking out and seeing all of these animals.  I remember thinking that I wanted one, but when I tried to choose, I heard someone say that I needed the lemur, and that I AM a lemur! Hmm.. morning arrives and I don’t really dwell on this.

Ring-Tailed Lemur

Later in the day I found myself at the supermarket.  Anyone that knows me knows that I love those machines that you put $.50 in and use the crane to try to grab a stuffed animal.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw one of these machines, but something else caught my eye.  It was called “Big Eyed Babies.”  It had all of these exotic baby animals, including the lemur!  POOF!  Like a deja vu, I was transported back to my dream.

In the dream, I remember thinking that even though I was told the lemur was for me, I wanted the other animals.  So I put in my quarters and gave it a try.  Baby Gorilla, baby Wolf, and a couple of others.  No luck. , I eye-balled the baby lemur.  He didn’t look like he was easy to get, but remembering the dream, I thought “I really don’t have any kind of affection for lemurs, but what the hell.”

The crane went down, and grabbed up the lemur on the first try.  On the first try, I got the lemur!  I watched as it was about to be dropped and saw that it was stuck on the crane by its tag.  Normally I’d leave it there, but I knew this was MY lemur.  So I snagged a guy who worked there and asked if they had a key for the machine.  He said, ‘no,’ but then proceeded to bang the machine until it came down for me.  What a ….nice guy?

I checked one of my favorite references on totem animals “Animalwise,” by Ted Andrews, and here is what it says about the Lemur:

In the Madagascar forests, the haunting, weird-calling sound that echoes comes from the lemur, known as the ghost of the forest. Lemurs are related to but more primitive than monkeys, and their name actually means “ghost.”

When the lemur appears, so too, will spirits.  We will begin to see and hear the presence of spirits and ghosts more clearly.  They will not be harmful, but their presence may be a little startling to us because of their accompanying phenomenon.  We will see forms and shadows moving or hear whispers and seemingly haunted sounds. As we work to connect more clearly, they will become more distinct.  Sometimes they herald the return of an ‘imaginary’ childhood friend.

When the lemur appears, the opening to the spirit realm with answers that can come from it alone begin to manifest.

How cool is that?!?!

 

Me and my Lemur

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Giving yourself permission to rest.

•January 19, 2011 • Leave a Comment

As of January 13th, this little blog has turned the ripe old age of 1!  I can hardly believe how far I’ve come with this journey.

I fondly remember the day I listened to my guides and finally (after 2 months of this floating around in my mind) I got on WordPress and started typing.  As soon as I hit the send button I thought, “oh boy, Nicole, you’ve done it.  Not only are you crazy, but now everyone knows you’re crazy!”  My heart was racing.

I’m glad to say that things have worked out pretty well so far with this endeavor.  When Spirit told me I’d be a teacher I thought, “how am I going to teach this stuff?  I barely know what I’m doing here!”  They asked me to trust them, and the process.  Things have unfolded beautifully- as they always do when I trust my guidance.  It’s my conscious thinking that gets me into trouble, never my guidance.

Having said that, I’d like to share with you a couple of cards that I recently pulled for myself.  I sometimes use the cards when I’m too stressed out to relax.  They help me to focus on something visual, and then I’m able to simmer down.  Ironically, from two different decks, I got the same message.

"Rest & Rejuvination" from the Psychic Tarot by John Holland.

It would seem that not giving myself the opportunity to rest has given rise to the tension and worry that I’m not going to finish the race, so to speak.  I’ve not taken time to meditate much lately, at least not like I used to.  The call of my blog, my facebook page, my radio show, my articles on Examiner.com and my actual full time job have been constant, distracting thoughts.  I’ve gotten to the point where I can’t actually write anything because my mind is in too many places at once.  So for the past week, I’ve been doing as close to nothing as possible.  It’s not easy for me to do that.  I can barely sit through a movie, let alone do nothing at all!  I’ve not seen the entirety of 3 out of the last 4 movies I’ve tried to sit down with.

"Rest" from Doreen Virtue's Magical Mermaids & Dolphins oracle deck.

I understand the message, and yet I’m human too.  I’ve had to pass this message on to others numerous times, and each one of them gave me just a little bit of resistance.  You know, that feeling of, “well, you just don’t understand how many balls I have to keep up in the air,” and “if I stop, everything will get away from me!”  I used to work in marketing and advertising.  Believe me, I KNOW what people are talking about.  But I also worked for a very smart duo back in the late 90’s who taught me something.   One partner of the firm was what you might call ‘neurotic,’ while the other was very collected.  They were the perfect team when they blended their capabilities and their temperments.  One was the life of the party and bit of a loose cannon, but this was also the one who would put in a 20 hour day.  The other, who was more on the calm, logical side would put down his pen after 8 -10 hours and let it go.  One day, the workaholic came to me and said, “Nick, I used to be much worse than I am now, believe it or not.  I learned something from Mr. Calm and Collected.  He came up to my desk one day and said, ‘Go home. It will be there tomorrow.'”

These guys were like second fathers to me.  I always got to work early so I could prepare everything in the office from the coffee to the daily traffic report.  And when they got there, they were always welcomed by the environment I had created for them, and we’d get down to business… in a less serious manner than most others, I suspect. (smile)

I carry that lesson with me wherever I go, and yet for some reason while working for myself it seems to be elusive.  It’s easier for me to leave work than it is for me to mentally leave work when it’s right on my lap, here at my home.  A while back when I asked Spirit to help me with my work situation, which has been quite difficult for the last few years, I pulled the “Self-Employment” card from Doreen Virtue’s Magical Mermaids & Dolphins deck.  I have no idea why this deck works so well for me, and truth be told I resisted buying it, but my guides insisted, and it felt right to me even though the concept really isn’t ‘me.’  It’s one of her older decks.  I had never pulled that card before, and because I had just started working as a independent contractor, I knew it was probably prophetic.  Where things will lead, I have no idea.  But in times like these I remember a book that I read called, “Sink Reflections,” by Marla Cilley, affectionately known as the FLYlady (Finally Loving Yourself).  If you’re suffering from being disorganized and need to get your head on straight to set some goals for the upcoming year, I highly recommend it.

She says,

“You are not behind! I don’t want you to try to catch up; I just want you to jump in where we are. O.K.?”

Well said!

Recommended:

“The Psychic Tarot”, by John Holland

“Magical Dolphins & Mermaids Oracle Cards” by Doreen Virtue

and “Sink Reflections” by Marla Cilley

Posted in My story, Soul Lessons, Spiritual Concepts & Teachings
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Christmas 2010- on a mission from above

•January 4, 2011 • 3 Comments

I promised I’d tell you all about my trip back home for Christmas and my special mission from my Grandmother, so here it goes.

Christmas without a loved one is always hard, and although my grandmother has been on the other side for 27 years now, her absence is still felt. During the weeks leading up to Christmas, I had this nagging feeling that I really needed to get back home for the holidays and reconnect with the family.  It had been 4 years since I’d had a big family Christmas. For me, the mess of taking unpaid time off, trying to get people to cover my shifts, and ticket prices were enough to keep me grounded in San Antonio for the holidays.  Something compelled me to make it happen.   Somehow I pushed past the fears and said, “I’m doing this.  Nothing is going to stop me. This has to happen.”  And so it was.

I started to feel my grandmother trying to get my attention.  Of all places, I happened to be in the doctor’s office waiting to be seen.  I took out my day planner and turned to the notes section to write down the concepts being relayed to me.  The first thing I saw was an old photo of my mother and aunts when they were little. I remembered seeing it before, but wasn’t sure who had it. Then she started to convey information through feelings.  I felt what she felt when she saw her babies for the first time.  Each of them was perfect and had all the potential in the world. She wanted big things and a better life for them than she had.  It was really beautiful.  I realized what she was getting at, and started to resist.

My grandmother told me that I didn’t have to get involved or in the middle of anyone’s issues.  I just had to do what she told me to do so she could get her message across. “You’re only the messenger, Nicole,” she said.  Her instructions were simple.  Get a hold of that photo of the three of them, and buy three frames.  She also had a special message that needed to be included, but I couldn’t figure out how I was going to do it. I asked her if I could put it in a card, and she said ‘no,’ because she knew the card would become separated from the photos and they needed to be in the same place.  So I got the photos printed and on my way to the store to buy the frames, I kept asking, “how am I gonna do this?”  Was I supposed to get them matted and write this special message on the matting somehow?  Then she showed me a frame that had room for two photos, and I got it.  I’d put the photo in one and print a card with the message on the other, and that would ensure the two would never be separated.  Okay, got it.

On Christmas Eve, which was always the most fun in my grandmother’s house growing up, I took each aunt and my mother aside and told them I had a present for them from their mother.  In any other family, I’m sure this would have raised some eyebrows, but not in mine!  I told them they all had to be in the same room when they opened it.  She wanted them all together (this was very significant).  They agreed and we all gathered in a bedroom away from the rest of the party.  When they opened it, they each had a reaction.

In the space opposite the photo the message read:

On Earth or in Heaven

wherever I may be

you will always be

my daughters, three

Underneath this little poem was another message saying that each of them were to put the frame somewhere where they could see it every day, and that when they look at it they are seeing themselves through her eyes.

There were several messages in this gift. For one, she was letting them know that they still had a mother who cared about them and was watching out for them, even if she wasn’t here in the flesh.  They each got the same exact gift- no more or less than the other. This was a clear message about how she loved them equally, without favoritism and that all of those bad feelings were to be put behind them.  The last message was more subtle, but clear from the way the whole package was put together and the fact that she wanted them all in the same room when they received it.  My grandmother has been watching the small degrees of separation grow bigger with each year and with every little argument. If she were here, she would not stand for it, and from where she is now, she still isn’t standing for it.

The message was received loud and clear- “I am still part of your life, and I will still weigh in every once in a while to let you know how I think you are doing.” Oh yes, she’s still the same in Spirit as she was here on earth.

I am glad that I was able to do this for my grandmother because she really needed to get this message across.  I am also very grateful that I was able to remain in my role as messenger, without getting in the middle or involved.  It’s kind of hard being a messenger when it comes to things like this, because in a perfect world this ‘conversation’ between my mother, my aunts and my grandmother would have happened behind closed doors, without my involvement at all. I felt a little like a peeping tom doing this, but when I asked my grandmother about it later she told me I did a good job, and she’s very proud of me for being able to do it.  If I had tried this last year at this time, I would have broken down in sobs, unable to get a single word out.  I’ve come a long way in my development, and I have a fantastic sidekick in Spirit to share it all with.  She says, “If I were still there, we’d be like the bopsy twins.  You’d never see us apart.”  I believe it, Gramma.  I really do.

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Peace within equals peace on earth

•December 22, 2010 • Leave a Comment

It’s snowing outside.  The kind of snow that when it falls, makes the earth seem quieter.  I don’t mind the wind.  I don’t mind the cold.  I’m laying comfortably after a hot stone massage that helped ease my tension and for the first time in a long time I feel content.  It almost brings tears to my eyes to experience such relief.

In my life, there is little time for myself.  That’s not to say that I’m always around other people, but I have a terrible habit of always being in the ‘on’ position.  When I’m home alone, I am on the computer updating facebook, twitter and listening to other mediums on blogtalkradio.com.   I double up on that time by trying new recipes as I’m listening to those shows.  On top of all of that, I’m consciously aware of spirit activity as I am always thinking, worrying or using my mental energy in some way, busy or not.  It’s to the point where I am getting messages in my dreams, because I don’t have enough waking moments to process all of the incoming information.

Why do I do so much?  I don’t know.  I guess the only honest answer is that my awareness keeps me engaged at all times. I have to consciously ground myself with sea salt baths, self-Reiki and unfortunately with food.  I’m one of those sensitive souls that uses food to bring me back into my body.  When I don’t, I am in overwhelm.

On a few of my radio shows I mentioned something about this idea of sensitivity being connected to being overweight, and for many people it is a direct connection.  I enrolled in Colette Baron-Reid’s “Weight Loss for People Who Feel Too Much,” and have been listening to her talk about the same things I’ve talked about.  It’s not that I don’t know this stuff, but by taking this class I’m telling myself that it’s time to start paying more attention to what I already know. Old habits die hard, but it’s not about being perfect.  It’s about loving yourself enough to be aware of the things you do that may be damaging to your self.

I mentioned in a previous post that my guides have been trying to tell me for years that I need to stop putting sugar, caffeine and gluten into my sensitive body.  What did I do?  Well I shut them up with cookies and cake.  I didn’t hear them when I was busy ingesting and digesting.  But I am changing.  After stopping gluten from gumming up the works, I saw a shift that I cannot deny.  No more swelling in my joints, or brain fog.  I could see that this was right.  My guides have never steered me wrong.  Everything they’ve told me would be good for me to do has proven correct.  It all comes down to this- none of us likes to be told what to do, even if it’s the right thing.  Psychics are human too.  My guides have only my best interest at heart, but I still wanted to have that illusion of being in command.  Every choice you make is  yours to make.  This is a perfect example of  my own free will at work.  I am allowed by Spirit to experience the fruit of my own stubborness and stupidity.  Cool, huh?

This past year has brought a lot of changes in awareness for me, and a lot of switching gears to accomodate the energy shifts that I’ve been going through.  It is subtle, but I can feel it.  This year, 2011 is about ceasing resistance to what I innately know is the right thing to do.  No more doing things a certain way to keep everyone else around me happy.  No more taking on the bullsh*t  in order for someone else to avoid suffering.  I mean, who made me the person responsible for the weight of the world until I break?  I’ll tell ya who.  It was me!  And now that I can see things more clearly, it’s all gonna come to an end.

Peace within is a choice.  All of what you experience in your life is a result of your choices.  There are no coincidences.  There are no mistakes.  There are only synchronicities and possibilities.  The universe supports you in all you do, including the crazy and the mundane. Being in a still environment this holiday season, if only briefly, is a great gift to me, because it’s showing me how intense my life has become as a result of  my own choices.  That’s not to say that there aren’t more adventures to come, but just because I sign up for something doesn’t mean I can’t change my mind, and un-sign up for it in favor of another opportunity.  I used to be afraid of choices, feeling that one choice would make or break me.  Now I see that each choice is just another pearl in the infinite strand of experiences that I am having in this life.

Letting go of something isn’t a loss.  It’s an opportunity to make room for something new.  Sometimes you have to let go of good, for great.  Allowing yourself to embrace this attitude is my wish for all of you this year. Peace within, creates peace outside of yourself.  Take some time to ponder this and write down your thoughts.  Make a promise to yourself to stop taking on things that make you unhappy, and know that you do have that choice.  Make another promise to yourself to listen to your own inner wisdom.  It’s been there all along, and it will always be there.  Let go of doubt, and when you feel the fear inside when faced with taking a new direction or changing course ask yourself, “what’s the worst thing that could happen.”  Then answer it, and allow yourself to say, “so what?” and feel the tension melt away.

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Embracing the holidays after a loss

•December 16, 2010 • Leave a Comment

For many people, this will be the first Christmas without a person who is dear to them.  It can be very confusing to try to process your emotions through all of the hubub and celebration.  You may feel conflicted because you want to enjoy the parties, food, and other treats, but being around a group of people when you are in the process of grieving can be a hard thing.

It is very tempting to not celebrate the holidays at all.  You  may be thinking, “what’s the point of Christmas without……?”  The point is, your loved ones in Spirit would never want you to skip a holiday or have a miserable one because of their passing.  They want you to celebrate as you did when they were still here- because they are!

Opening up a Snow White doll from Disneyland- given to me by my grandmother, of course.

When my grandmother passed away in July of 1983, my family was devastated.  But we had to march on, and everyone knew that. By the time Christmas came around, we had all done some grieving, but it was still hard.  I mean, what was Christmas without Gramma?  Instead of putting energy into feeling bad, my family honored her by doing what she would have done on Christmas.  I am grateful to the adults in my family, who recognized that they couldn’t take away Christmas from us (the kids)  because they weren’t in the mood.  There were plenty of decorations and gifts, and enough food to feed an army.  We were still saddened, but we knew she would never stand for us sitting around feeling sad during the holidays. She’d be the first person to see someone in that kind of a mood and say, “You.  Come with me,” and put you to work doing something by her side. My grandmother is one smart lady.  Getting up and actually doing something- participating- is the best way to change your state.

In Italian culture, everyone pulls together to make the holidays special.  Mom and the other female family members bond in the kitchen over time-tested recipes.  Dad and the kids put up the Christmas tree. My grandfather is usually standing near the bowl of eggnogg, sneaking in a few drops of whisky thinking no one is watching him.   It’s all about family.   This Christmas will be the first one I’ll be home for in four years, and my grandmother is working through me to make sure everybody knows she’s going to be there too.  As a matter of fact, expect an entry shortly after Christmas about this, because it’s going to be a good one!

Here’s what your loved ones in Spirit want you to know this holiday season:

1. Please celebrate the holidays as if they were still there with you, because they are!

2. Talk about them!  When you do this, you draw their energy close to you.

3. Remember the good times and allow yourself to laugh.  No one will judge you for not being solemn enough!

4. Be good to the ones that surround you now.  Now is the time to show them how much you care.  Don’t wait.

5. There is nothing wrong with reaching out for help.

If you or someone  you know is having a particularly hard time dealing with a loss this Christmas, I sincerely encourage you to look up a grief counselor or therapist who is trained to help you through this time.  Friends and family are well-intentioned and can listen, but a professional knows how to help you.  Please don’t feel that this makes you weak in any way.  Look at it as a way to help you experience your emotions in a safe place, so you can begin to heal.  If  you are on the fence about sharing your grief with a professional, think of it this way-  Why do you think a person would choose such a profession to work in?  Chances are they have once been where you are now, and after having someone else help them through it, they decided to go and do the same for others.  You are not alone, so please reach out to someone if you are struggling through the holiday season.

So put up the Chrismas tree, hang up the stockings, spike the eggnog and breathe deeply, knowing your loved ones are watching over your festivities this holiday season.  Invite them in by talking about them and sharing memories.  Most of all, look at each person around you as you sit at the table and recognize that this has been a hard year for a lot of people, which makes having a warm and wonderful Christmas all the more important.  Cheers!

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What Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer taught me

•December 10, 2010 • 1 Comment

Ever since I was a little girl, Christmas time always meant gathering around the television to watch Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and How The Grinch Stole Christmas.  I’d sneak out of bed early, pop in these videos, and grab a box of Entenmann’s Chocolate Chip cookies, gobbling up the goodness of the Christmas Spirit.  But these were more than just holiday classics.  They were life lessons.

The Island of Misfit Toys

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer taught me that even though I felt different from everyone else, my difference may some day be the thing that people love about me the most.  The island of Misfit Toys was a place for those who felt like they didn’t belong to be in the company of those who understood their plight.  I learned that although people may laugh at you, one day it wouldn’t matter. Rudolph’s Shiny New Year introduced us to the baby new year, named ‘Happy.’  He was anything but happy, and hid underneath a big hat because he was ashamed of his big ears.  When Rudolph finally tracks down Happy, he asks to see his ears.  Happy resists, but then he gives in.  Just as he suspected, Rudolph began to laugh. In a moment of real television magic, Rudolph tells Happy not to be offended by his laughing, and explains that the reason he laughed when he saw Happy’s  ears is because the sight of them filled him up with so much joy, it burst forth in the form of a laugh.

What about the Grinch?  This was a rotten being whose only interest is taking away Christmas.  Why?  Because he was miserable and wanted everyone else to be miserable too.  In essence, he didn’t want anyone to have what he couldn’t have.  And for all of his shenanigans, we get to see that the whole reason behind his nasty behavior is that he doesn’t feel loved.   How many times have we seen someone who is positively acidic, always spewing negative comments, especially around the holidays?  Perhaps this person doesn’t have a family to look forward to eating Christmas dinner with, and is dreading the arrival of a time when that is everyone else’s focus.  Maybe this person only needs someone to do something nice for the grinchly behavior to fall away.

During the holiday season, I urge everyone to try to remember that the holidays may mean joy to some, but it can be a very lonely time for others.

Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Maybe Susie down in Accounting is facing the first Christmas without her mother.  Maybe Peter in the mailroom just went through a nasty divorce and won’t be seeing his children for Christmas for the first time since they were born.  We cannot judge a person’s behavior for face value sometimes.  Be considerate and kind.  If you notice that someone around you is having a hard time through the holidays, invite him or her to lunch or bring in some homemade baked goods as a surprise, just because.  It is not pity.  It is being human, and recognizing that we all have hard times.  Your kindness could be the difference between a miserable holiday season, and one that doesn’t feel quite so bad.

Lessons we learned from Rudolph

  • Be kind to those who are different.
  • There is a place for all of us, and we all deserve to be loved.
  • Be brave enough to accept yourself for who you are and forge ahead knowing you aren’t just different, you are unique

Lessons we learned from the Grinch Who Stole Christmas

  • Don’t judge someone who appears to be nothing more than a curmudgeon.  Look beneath the surface.
  • If you notice that someone around you seems to shy away from the holiday cheer, reach out to him or her.  You may be the only one who does so.
  • Christmas isn’t about all of the ornaments and presents.  It’s about the Spirit of the season: peace on Earth, goodwill toward men.

Wishing all of my readers a bright and shiny Holiday Season.

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Power is not a dirty word

•December 7, 2010 • 1 Comment

Power is often looked at as something that draws in the seven deadly sins quite easily.  People who take on positions of power are seen as vane, selfish, gluttonous, and sometimes downright abusive.  I believe that these views that are instilled in us through pop culture and mass media are the major source of the energy that contributes to our view of power.  And we give them that power over us, to program our minds daily.

As promised, this blog will contain the wisdom from the  conversations with one of my guides, who refers to himself as ‘Grandfather.’   Grandfather started the conversation by asking me some questions about my life and circumstances, and the motivations behind what I wanted and had been asking for through prayer.   I answered him as I would have answered anyone who asked me the same questions.  The response he gave me, however, was very different from any other I’d received.  He said, ‘Can’t you see that you are afraid of owning your own power?’  I was stunned.  I have had guidance come through to me before, but never in this way.  I have come to know Grandfather as more than a Spirit Guide, but an ‘Elder.’  Elders come to us as teachers.  They are very wise and give counsel in ways that you’d least expect, as he did to me with that line of questioning and that bold answer.

I wanted to say a few brief words about the concept of power, as it relates to everything that we are experiencing here in this world.  We all know that there is power in numbers, and yet the masses have very little or no power at all.  Why?  Here in America, we elect our officials to their positions, however, even that is not true.  If it were, there’d be no reason to have a ‘popular’ vote versus ‘electoral’ or any other kind.  The people we elect are rich and have no idea what they are being asked to do in representing the masses.  Then we later find out that these politicians are not only crooked, but they hide secrets even from their wives and families that when brought to light, bring them shame and disgrace.  No wonder we all think that having power is a bad thing!

Grandfather stated that there is always some kind of power at work whenever we are in a situation involving more than one person.  He asked me to look at it from that point of view- the interpersonal one.  In daily conversation I would hear people trying to outdo or one-up each other, for example.  In a work setting, I paid attention to the power struggle between the manager and the employees.  Even among employees, there was competition, creating another small vacuum with its own power struggle.  It would seem that one cannot escape this force, even in seemingly mundane situations.  It made me stop and really think.  How many times have I had an opinion or insight that I did not voice because someone else’s voice was louder and I chose to shrink back just a little bit?  How many situations had I been in where I stood by and let others take the lead as to avoid the issue of being in power?

It became clear to me that I needed to find a way to ‘own my power’ as Grandfather put it.  I began paying attention to interactions I had in everyday life.  I found that there were many times I was just  ‘keeping my mouth shut’ to keep the peace, and have always chosen not to rock the boat whenever possible.   I realized that it was my fear of power that created this, and that I did not have anything to be afraid of.  He told me when I allow myself to be treated with disrespect, I was telling myself that I am not as important as everyone else.  I was responsible for the judgement, by virtue of my own beliefs.  With Grandfather’s words still fresh in my ears, I took baby steps to taking back my power from all of those who I gave it to without ever knowing I did so.  I took it back from rude people who cut in line at the store or even from store clerks who wouldn’t listen to me and brushed me off.  I was determined that I would no longer be invisible, unimportant, and quiet for the sake of not starting trouble.  I had realized I was the one who was responsible for putting myself in situations where I allowed myself to be second-best, or just a bystander.

As time goes on, I check in with Grandfather and without even asking him a question, he seems to give the answer.  It is not always a long one.  At times it is as simple as, “I see you are finding your power.  Good.  Keep going.”  His presence is gentle and patient, but he does not allow me to hide from myself.   I asked for a teacher and expected one to show up in the flesh.  Instead, I was blessed with the presence of this wonderful old soul, an Elder, willing to teach me.

Please join me for next week’s show on Spirit Guides. I look forward to hearing your feedback, and your experiences with your own guides!

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Our Bodies, Our ‘Selves.’

•November 20, 2010 • Leave a Comment

I’ve had a love-hate relationship with my body since I got here.  I’m told that as a baby, I wouldn’t sleep.  I’d literally scream and cry for half the night.  They say I had colic.  I say I didn’t like the feeling of being confined to a body.

As time went on, that relationship hasn’t really improved.  I’m just as guilty as the next person of accusing my body of not being up to standards.  Too fat here, to wide there, and I’ve colored and permed and teased my hair unmercifully.  We find ourselves becoming victims of our bodies, battling disease and addiction.  We beat ourselves up at the gym, and squeeze ourselves into molds that allow us to wear the latest fashions.

So why do we have this kind of reaction?

Well, first and foremost, we are seekers of our own identities when we take on a human form.  We forget who we are and we begin to look for that information outside of ourselves.  We compare ourselves to others and make judgements about what is good and what is bad.  We decide who we want to be, and many of us do this in lieu of the beautiful gifts we have that we choose to ignore.  A great example of this is Matt Damon’s character in ‘Good Will Hunting.”  Here is this amazing young man who has the ability to solve equations even the most intelligent, prestigious professors at MIT cannot solve.  He can practically do it in his sleep.  Instead of making it his life’s pursuit, he chooses to do ‘honest work,’ which translates into working with his hands, being a janitor or working construction.  Now I’m not knocking either of those professions at all.  They ARE honest jobs, and I can certainly see how this character viewed white collar jobs as deceptive, inhumane and outright dirty.  However, having a gift as strong as Will’s could easily alter the course of the world, depending on how he chooses to use it.  This is an internal conflict being faced by so many of us today.

“Do I follow my heart and use my gifts

or

do what I know will support me.”

The real answer to this question is, of course, both!  We don’t have to choose between one or the other.  Times have changed.

Ladies and gentleman, you are absolutely responsible for your vehicle- aka your body- while you are here.  You have to sustain yourself, and if that means you need to work a job that supports you but does not fulfill your dreams, that is okay.  BUT, and this is a big BUT, you should not ignore what your heart is telling you. There are still ways that you can experience the joy and freedom of living your dream even if it means you have to do it only part-time.  It’s not all or nothing.  You do have options.  If you’ve always dreamed of being a musician but find yourself working as a florist, then find a way to incorporate your music into another part of your life, but don’t give it up.  We are tricked into thinking we have to choose and can’t have it all.  Don’t you believe it!  While your day job may not fulfill your soul’s purpose, it supports you and allows you to live, so that you CAN work on your dream.

So where does this bring us?  Our bodies are our responsiblity to maintain while here on Earth, and that means loving them.  Harming our bodies only harms our ability to do what we came here to do.  Your body isn’t your identity, no more than your job is.  These, and many other facets of your life, are all aspects of the self that are reflected back at us through the relationships around us.

Take care to keep your body well, and remember to listen to your inner voice, your spirit.  Your dreams are whispers from your soul, but your soul’s voice doesn’t outweigh your need to be a human being, surviving in this world.  Both are important and necessary to living a full and happy life.

As always, walk with one foot in each world, knowing you are never alone, and that you are loved.

*Recommended reading: The Answer is Simple: Love Yourself, Live Your Spirit, by Sonia Choquette.

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